Are We Codependent in Our Happiness - Or Living with True Self-Responsibility?

Assalamu alaikum - I carried other people's feelings for a long time. I let how they felt decide my day, my joy, even my sense of control over my own life. And for what? Walking on eggshells around people didn't help either of us. It just left us stuck and resentful. I noticed there were only two roles available: the victim or the one at fault. No middle ground. No mutual compassion. One day I had to ask myself something hard: Was I really showing love, or was I just afraid of upsetting people? There’s a real difference. True love, from an Islamic and humane perspective, doesn’t mean you erase yourself. It doesn’t require you to shrink, vanish, or mute your needs so someone else feels comfortable. That isn’t connection - it’s silent self-erasure. Live like that long enough and something odd happens: you stop feeling like a person with your own life and start feeling like the emotional support everyone else leans on. Your feelings get labeled “too much.” Your needs feel “inconvenient.” Your growth is seen as a threat-not because you did anything wrong, but because you stopped playing the role they expected. That’s often when people call you “selfish,” while actually you are simply learning to stand on your own feet - to be sovereign over your heart and choices. A gentle reminder from the deen and common sense: you were never meant to be the emotional ground for everyone else. You were meant to stand on your own ground. Sovereignty isn’t cold or distant or selfish. It’s what happens when you take responsibility for your inner world - your moods, choices, direction - and allow others to do the same. It looks like two whole people walking side by side, not carrying each other, not shrinking for one another, but choosing one another. If you’re in that in-between place - tired, unsure, but wanting more from life and your relationships - you’re closer to the next chapter than you think. This is where true responsibility and authenticity begin. - Jamie #JourneyToTruth