A journey of faith: seeking clarity on my Shahada experience
Salaam everyone, I hope you're all in the best of health and iman. I wanted to share something that's been on my mind and ask for some gentle guidance. When I was around 14, I said the Shahada in private. My family was very devoted to Christianity at the time, and I'd been feeling disconnected from Allah and unsure about my spirituality despite trying hard. I thought that maybe following a more structured path would help me feel assured that Allah wasn't displeased with me. I started watching videos online about Islam, especially stories of people who embraced it and found peace and closeness to Allah. Eventually, I recited the Shahada myself, looked up how to perform salah, and checked prayer times. I tried praying once, but the next morning, I was overwhelmed with worry that the Christian concept of God was angry with me, and I stepped back from it. Looking back, I believe I had genuine faith when I said the Shahada. Now, as an adult, I find myself without a religious belief, but I feel a need to understand what I walked away from. Could anyone point me to reliable resources about where I stand from an Islamic perspective-like my status, the implications, and what continuing on that path might have meant? Jazakum Allahu khayran for your time and help. Edit: To be more specific, what conditions make a Shahada valid and accepted?