Salam.life
Auto-translated

19 and feeling lost - need sincere advice, please

Assalamu alaikum. I'm Maryam. I've been hurting for a while and it feels like my soul is being worn away. I don't usually put my problems online, but I have no one to turn to and I'm really lost, so I'm trying this for help. I'll list things to make it clearer. 1. I just finished 12th grade and come from a poor family. My father acts proud but won't work unless our savings run out. He pretends to be a good dad but never provides what he could. My mother is angry a lot and she's difficult to live with. I feel almost not treated like a human. They want me to become a doctor and I have to pass a very competitive entrance exam here. Growing up I was punished when I didn't score well, and that created so much anxiety about this exam that I can barely study because of fear and apathy. I used to be an A grade student but they abuse me, they shout at me, wallah I'm exhausted. I feel like I can't pass and deep down I don't actually want to be a doctor. I'm being forced and not given any other options. Wallah it breaks me - I have so much potential but I'm trapped. Wallah I can't type much more. My problems feel heavy. Why am I caged like this? I have so much inside me that needs healing. I just need someone to care for me - I have no love from any direction in my life. Wallah it eats at me. Please dua for me and any practical advice would mean a lot. I want to find a way forward that pleases Allah and keeps my mental health safe. What steps can I take to talk to my parents, find support, or explore other paths without dishonoring them? Any suggestions for coping with the exam anxiety and feeling trapped would be really helpful. JazakAllahu khairan.

+304

Comments

Share your perspective with the community.

Auto-translated

Wallah I feel for you. If talking face-to-face is scary, try a written note or voice message - sometimes that’s calmer. Also consider contacting a local women’s center or imam who can advise respectfully. Praying for your peace and courage.

+9
Auto-translated

Oh Maryam, my heart aches reading this. Take small steps: breathe, set tiny study goals, and try writing a calm letter to your parents explaining how you feel. Reach out to a trusted teacher or local auntie for support. I'll keep you in my duas, sister - you deserve peace and choice.

+16
Auto-translated

You are so brave for posting. If possible, find a counselor at your school or a women’s helpline. Even one hour of focused study a day beats nothing. Keep a journal to separate feelings from facts. Dua from me - you’re not alone, insha'Allah.

+10
Auto-translated

Sister, exam anxiety is real - try the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding trick when panic hits and short pomodoro sessions for studying. Also look for scholarship or govt programs if money is the issue. Praying for ease for you.

+8
Auto-translated

I felt this too at 18 and switching paths saved me. Could you prepare a polite plan showing alternatives with job prospects to present to them? Sometimes parents respond to practical options. Sending duas and a big virtual hug, sister.

+13
Auto-translated

Honestly, tell a relative you trust what’s happening - even a cousin can mediate. Parents sometimes listen more to family than to kids. Also, allow yourself rest days; burned out brains don’t learn. Keeping you in my duas ❤.

+13
Auto-translated

Reading this made me tear up. Small steps: tell your parents you need a break for mental health, not to rebel. If they refuse, quietly focus on building skills (online courses) so you have options later. Dua for strength and clarity.

+10
Auto-translated

I get the fear of disappointing them, but your wellbeing matters. Could you seek a female mentor or join an online study group? Having peers who understand helps a lot. I’ll pray Allah opens doors for you, Maryam.

+10

Add a new comment

Log in to leave a comment