Tired and looking for advice
Assalamu alaikum everyone, I'm not sure how to put this right, but for a while now I've been dealing with not caring much, feeling emotionally flat, and just not enjoying things. It’s been about two years and what’s sad is before this, I was genuinely happy just because I felt near to Allah. I’d pray, read the Qur’an, do dhikr, and more. Just that made me at peace. I get that this dunya is a test and we shouldn’t cling to it, but I still feel kind of lost and could use some advice. I feel cut off from everything-people, myself, and hardest of all, from my deen. What really stings is that I want to be close to Allah. I truly miss the sweetness of iman. I miss actually feeling something in my salah, my duas, when reading Qur’an. I miss having a soft heart. Right now it’s all just blank and empty, even though deep inside I still care and I’m still looking for guidance. I’ve tried all I can think of. Therapy, sticking to routines, trying to improve myself, forcing myself to be consistent, making dua all the time, listening to reminders, switching up habits, trying to reconnect spiritually, but somehow I’m still stuck in this state where my heart feels dead. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve dropped a lot of stuff I used to like doing. I guess I’m writing this because I want to know if anyone else has been through this and found a way out. How do you keep turning to Allah when you feel emotionally dead inside? How do you rebuild sincerity and a connection when you can barely feel a thing? Please make dua for me. I don’t want to stay like this. I just want Allah to guide me back and let me taste that sweetness of iman again. Jazakum Allahu khayran.