Struggling to feel close to Allah

Assalamu alaykum everyone. I really believe in Allah, that He is the only God and Muhammad (peace be upon him) is His messenger. I accept all the pillars of Iman and follow the pillars of Islam, though I’m not doing Zakat or Hajj right now due to my money situation. I’m Sunni, from a Maliki background by tradition and where I live, but honestly I don’t get too caught up in labels-I just try to do what feels right. Alhamdulillah, I was raised Muslim by practicing parents who gave me a good upbringing, but they didn’t push much about praying or learning the deen. Now, alhamdulillah, I started praying again on my own. It wasn’t a sudden change; I’ve been slowly getting more into religion since I finished school and have more time (school barely left me time to pray). My iman grows stronger whenever I see a prophecy come true or something from the Quran happens in my life or to my family. I won’t pretend I automatically agree with every Islamic rule-I’m not a saint, I’m human and I mess up. But since I understand the wisdom behind most laws, I submit to Allah even in the few things I don’t fully get or struggle with, and I’m trying hard to fix my misunderstandings and learn. My main problem is my spiritual connection to Allah. My faith feels mostly intellectual and about ethics, not something that fills me emotionally-I don’t have that safe space to turn to when I’m spiritually drained. What hurts is that I can’t seem to get closer to Allah. I don’t feel anything during salah, or when I read Quran. And I desperately want to feel His presence. I don’t want to practice like a robot. I hope this doesn’t sound wrong, but I believe in Allah like I believe in air-I know He’s there, I know He’s around me even though I can’t see Him, I know He gives me life, but I can’t feel Him. I’ve cried during some verses and in sujood, but I’m not sure if it’s from despair or real connection, especially since I was really down at those times. My favorite ayah is the last one of Surah Al-Baqarah. I envy people who cry in prayer. I don’t have khushu’ and I don’t know what a true bond with Allah feels like. I fall back into sin easily. I feel a lot of guilt, and it turns into a never-ending loop: the guilt makes me feel even more distant, and I don’t feel worthy of His love because I haven’t done anything to earn it.