Seeking guidance about my marriage plans - is this my destined path?

As-salamu alaykum everyone, I'm a Muslim woman currently completing my graduate studies. For about a year now, I've been getting to know a brother with marriage in mind (we've been long distance). At the end of last year, he approached my father for my hand in marriage, and we're now in the planning stages of our engagement. I've been struggling with this decision for months. We even spoke to our families when we faced numerous challenges and nearly ended things. We chose to continue working on our relationship and make it more formal and halal. I know we should have involved our families from the start - I wanted to, but he wasn't ready due to financial concerns. Now that we're moving forward, I'm worried I might not be making the right choice. Throughout Ramadan, I made dua for Allah to remove him from my life quickly if he isn't my destined partner. I prayed tahajjud and istikhara almost nightly. I've shared some concerns with my parents, and they've said they'll support whatever decision I make. **Here's what troubles me:** He isn't financially stable yet. Money itself isn't my concern, but I feel his stress, and he keeps changing career paths and starting over, which makes me anxious. He hasn't shown engagement-level commitment. During Ramadan, my parents invited him over many times (almost 2-3 times weekly), and he spent time with me. But on Eid, we had family plans, and he slept through them. I was hurt by this lack of responsibility and effort. When I addressed it, he focused on his mental struggles due to financial instability, which upset me so much I cried all day. He constantly seeks my advice but rarely follows it. I also don't feel he provides emotional security when I need guidance. He seems to be proceeding without deep reflection. Whenever I ask if he has concerns, he only mentions them during arguments. He says he loves me and has no doubts, but I wonder if that's realistic. We don't share many interests. He enjoys sports and video games, while I'm more interested in politics and law. He's spontaneous, while I'm a planner. Much of my anxiety comes from not knowing his plans and how often they change. I need at least some intention or basic structure, while he handles things as they come, which seems reactive rather than proactive. His effort isn't consistent. I've primarily taken the lead in planning, calls, and texts. He only contributes when I express exhaustion from carrying the load, showing he isn't proactive. He isn't as diligent with his salah. Alhamdulillah, I pray regularly and make daily decisions based on Islamic principles. He doesn't prioritize Islam as much as he knows he should. When I remind him, I feel like an annoying mother figure. He says I'm not, but he still acts uncomfortable. He used to smoke weed, which is completely unacceptable to me. He claims to have stopped, but I worry about relapse. This was the root of most of my initial concerns. Overall, I feel he isn't giving his full effort, isn't proactive, and is proceeding without sufficient forethought. **What makes me consider staying:** I do love him. We've built a friendship and communicate regularly. He gets along well with my family; everyone who meets him likes him. He's supportive and encourages me to finish my education. He wants me to succeed. He has big dreams, like wanting to leave the country, which aligns with my aspirations. He has goals he intends to achieve, insha'Allah. He's gentle and patient. He doesn't raise his voice and seems to listen when I share concerns. He's great with children and animals. He verbally reassures me of his feelings (even though I'm someone who needs to see actions). He's protective, especially in public, ensuring my safety and being aware of our surroundings. He does the same for my siblings. Overall, he has many good qualities, but my current concerns remain. There are reasons I love him, and I'm grateful for that, but I worry that continuing might mean overlooking our issues. **I'm uncertain how to proceed. I don't want to make the wrong decision and question if he's emotionally and mentally ready for this step. Whenever I ask, he says he is, but I can tell he's become more stressed as we begin paying for and preparing the engagement.**