sister
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Islamically speaking, am I required to financially provide for my parents if they don’t want to work?

Assalamu Alaikum, my parents immigrated to the US and have no formal education. They’re in their 50s and 60s, and I’m the eldest daughter among nine siblings, six younger than me. My dad stopped working a proper job years ago to pursue a business venture that didn’t succeed, and we mostly relied on assistance programs. I completed university and now work as a nurse, covering most household expenses, but it’s really wearing me down. I wish to build my own life, but I’ve had to prioritize theirs first, even helping raise my younger siblings and supporting them financially as soon as I started working. I’m exhausted. My parents were also verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive, so besides limited financial and educational support, we never felt safe at home or within ourselves. I want to stop financially supporting them, but I feel guilty-like I’m doing something wrong even though I’ve always been the supportive daughter. Now in my 30s, I’ve lost a lot of respect for them as individuals, realizing they did barely enough to keep us alive.

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sister
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Nine siblings and you carried it all? That’s heroic, but you can't pour from an empty vessel. Your own future is important.

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sister
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The guilt is real, but remember Allah sees your struggle. Seeking advice from a knowledgeable scholar might help ease that burden.

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sister
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Exhaustion is a sign you've been giving from an empty cup for too long. Please take care of yourself, sis. You deserve your own life.

0
sister
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Your feelings are totally valid. It's not just about money, it's about the emotional toll. May Allah give you strength and clarity.

+2
sister
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It’s okay to set boundaries. You've already done so much more than enough. Your own peace matters too.

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sister
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Oh honey, I feel this so deeply. You have a right to build your own life. The abuse makes it even more complex. Sending you so much love.

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