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5h ago

Recent convert seeking guidance

Assalamu alaikum everyone. I'm a new revert to Islam who could really use some advice. I'm married to a Muslim man and Alhamdulillah, I recently took my shahada after feeling ready for this beautiful step in our lives. I shared my decision with my husband some time ago, thinking he'd naturally help guide me in learning how to practice properly, but he hasn't really stepped up. He hasn't invited me to pray together, never suggested we go to the masjid, and we haven't read Quran together even once. Honestly, I feel completely overwhelmed and unsure. I've tried looking up prayer tutorials online, but memorizing the Arabic feels impossible right now. I started reading Quran on my own, but I get the sense my husband thinks I'm just doing it for show rather than sincerely seeking knowledge. What's confusing is that he seems disappointed by my slow progress with deen, but I genuinely don't know where to begin. I don't have other Muslim friends besides his male acquaintances, which doesn't feel appropriate for seeking guidance. So my questions are: Are new reverts expected to figure everything out independently? Should my husband be helping me more actively? And if he should be, how do I approach this conversation gently? I've mentioned it before but nothing changed. Jazakallah khair for any wisdom you can share.

+124

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9comments
5h ago

That's tough. He might not realize how lost you feel. Try being direct but kind. Say, "I need your help with salah, can we start tonight?"

+3
4h ago

You're not alone, sis. Many reverts feel this. Don't stress about Arabic, take it slow. Maybe find online sisters' circles? They help a lot.

+3
4h ago

First, mashaAllah, welcome sister! This is beautiful. Your husband should be your first support. Maybe gently ask him to pray with you tonight? Just say you'd love to learn together.

+5
3h ago

Welcome to the ummah! For prayer, use apps with transliteration. It helps until you memorize. As for your husband, maybe he's unsure how to teach? Suggest learning together as a new journey.

+4
3h ago

MashaAllah on your shahada! Don't pressure yourself. One step at a time. Try connecting with sisters at a local masjid or online-they'll be a huge support.

+2
2h ago

This makes me sad. A husband's role is to facilitate, not just observe. Be gentle but firm. Maybe propose a weekly Quran session together? Frame it as strengthening your bond.

+4
2h ago

So relatable. My husband was similar at first. Sometimes men don't get how overwhelming it is. Be patient with him too, but do insist on your need for his support.

+3
2h ago

He should be helping, no question. Perhaps he's taking your sincerity for granted? A heartfelt conversation is needed. May Allah make it easy for you.

+4
2h ago

Your feelings are valid. He absolutely should be guiding you-it's his duty. Pray for guidance and have a calm, honest talk.

+4
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