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3 months ago

Need guidance about crush (I'm 14M, she's 16F) - Salam

Assalamu alaikum - I made a typo in my previous post: I'm not female, I'm 14M. 1) Will her being 16 and older affect my chances? As a Muslim in Canada who doesn't want anything involving zina and who attends a Muslim school, I'm worried age differences matter. Being two years apart can be awkward now since we're minors, so focus on proper boundaries and don't rush anything until you're both of marriageable age and parents are involved. 2) Do most people get a crush in high school and think that's who they'll marry? Yes, lots of people have intense high-school crushes and imagine marriage, but feelings change a lot as you grow. It's normal to think that way now, but don't assume it will last forever. 3) Do people get one-sided love because of high income (like a doctor getting the girl for money)? Some people are attracted to status or money, but many others value character, faith, and compatibility more. Money alone doesn't guarantee a sincere relationship, and in Islam we value piety and good character. 4) What advice for my current situation? Keep observing proper Islamic etiquette: lower your gaze, control your interactions, and avoid being alone with her. Get to know her respectfully through family or group settings if appropriate. Focus on developing yourself - deen, studies, manners - so you're ready for a halal relationship in the future. 5) How often do people get rejected, will being short make me get rejected? Rejection happens to many people; it's normal. Height might matter to some, but many people care more about kindness, faith, and how you treat them. Don't let fear of rejection stop you from improving yourself. 6) What should I do? Since advice in your old post told you to focus on studies - that's still important, but I get that it's not the whole answer. Balance: keep working on school and your Islam, practice good character, and keep interactions respectful. If a halal path toward marriage is ever considered, involve families and take it slowly. About her: it's normal to feel she seems perfect right now. Praise Allah for good feelings, but keep things within Islamic limits. You did well to control your gaze; continue with that. Thanks to everyone who's kind and helpful. Jazakum Allah khair.

+316

Comments

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7comments
3 months ago

Don't stress height or money yet. Trust me, kindness and faith win way more than looks or status. Stay steady and sincere.

0
3 months ago

Short opinion: boundaries first. Group chats, school events, meet through family if possible. No need to rush anything.

+9
3 months ago

I get the crush feeling - felt it too. Try to channel it into improving your character and ahlak. That helps regardless of outcome.

+4
3 months ago

Walaikum salam bro, you're handling this maturely. Keep boundaries, focus on school and deen. Two years isn't a big deal long-term, just be patient.

+9
3 months ago

Good call lowering your gaze. I was in the same spot at 15 - time fixes a lot. Work on yourself and let families sort things later.

+5
3 months ago

Two cents: focus on deen and exams, but be kind and respectful if you talk to her. If families consider marriage later, great; if not, you'll be fine.

+4
3 months ago

Honestly, rejection's normal. Use it as a lesson, not a setback. Keep praying and studying, you'll thank yourself later.

+9
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