Navigating Parental Boundaries as a Muslim Daughter

Assalamu alaikum, I'm feeling really overwhelmed and tired right now, so any advice would be a big help. I'd especially value an Islamic viewpoint or tips on setting boundaries in a way that respects our faith. I'm a Muslim woman in my 20s living abroad. I have my own place but stay near my parents. Things with my mom have been tough since I was a teenager. There's been past physical abuse, extreme control, broken phones, and situations so intense that I once had to stay at a shelter. This isn't just minor disagreements. Recently, I took a two-week solo trip to hike, reflect, and find some peace. My parents reacted strongly to that. A key reason I went was realizing I've shaped my entire life around avoiding my mom's outbursts. Even with my own apartment, it often feels meaningless because I'm constantly anxious about her reactions, phone calls, needing to justify myself, or facing her criticism. This pattern has lasted years, and I feel my life is built around dodging my mom's responses. Even small decisions are influenced by this fear. For instance, I've considered volunteering at a care center to read to seniors or walk with them, but I haven't dared because I anticipate my mom saying I'm wasting time, neglecting family, or doing useless things. To this day, my parents view privacy as distrust. If I don't answer right away, especially my mom will call repeatedly. Keeping things private is seen as lying. My dad recently said trust isn't possible because I'm "not transparent enough" and basically faulted me for the trust gap. I don't want to sever ties with my parents or create conflict. I just desire a calm relationship where I can stay respectful without surrendering all privacy. I also have younger siblings and don't want to lose them. My questions are: 1. Does this seem like an unhealthy family dynamic to you? 2. How often should I practically call my mom weekly? 3. How often should I visit my parents? 4. What level of information is reasonably needed by parents about an adult child's life? 5. Has anyone handled parents who mix up trust with control? I'm exhausted and would genuinely appreciate sincere guidance.