My iman is shaking and I feel so lost

Assalamu alaikum, I’ve been struggling with my iman for a while now, and it’s leaving me anxious almost constantly. It’s like a heavy, uneasy feeling I can’t shake-similar to when you’ve messed up and you’re scared of being found out. I try to stay busy with halal activities, meeting brothers at the masjid or going to the gym, but the feeling always returns. I was raised in a Muslim family; my parents made us pray, but it often felt like a chore we’d get scolded for if we skipped. I never really built a loving connection with Allah-I mostly just feared punishment. It hurts to see people who pray regularly but act terribly. For example, a relative of mine never misses a salah, yet she lies, stirs up family drama, and has caused so much pain. I used to make du’a for her guidance for years, but nothing changed, and I started questioning the whole point of du’a. I try my best to be honest and compassionate. If I even think I’ve wronged someone, I obsess over it for days, while others seem to do worse without a second thought. Growing up, there was a lot of conflict at home; my father was physically abusive when we were young. I wonder if my anxiety comes from that, from religion, or from both. Certain Islamic teachings are hard for me to grasp too. Sometimes I feel women have so many restrictions, and I ask myself why. Living here in the UAE, I notice how often men stare or act inappropriately, and when I’ve traveled, the atmosphere felt different. I know it’s just my experience, but it makes me question if the social norms I grew up with are truly healthy. Another thing I struggle with is the idea that this dunya is for the non-believers and Jannah is for the believers. But when I look at the world, I see successful, wealthy non-Muslims, and also non-Muslims who are poor, sick, or suffering terribly. The same goes for Muslims-some live comfortably alhamdulillah, others face war, poverty, or loss. That statement just doesn’t reflect the reality I see. It’s hard to understand why good people often suffer while cruel people thrive. I know we say true justice is in the akhirah, but emotionally, it’s tough watching so much injustice here. I don’t have solid companions to help me. Some of my siblings are drifting from deen, and though I love them, their choices leave me confused and without role models. Sometimes I wonder: if I was born into another faith, would I have followed that one just as strongly? How do I know I’m on the truth and not just following my upbringing? This morning, I prayed Fajr for the first time in a long time-subhanAllah, part of me wants to hold onto faith, another part is drowning in doubts. Has anyone else felt like this? If you questioned your belief but found peace-whether you stayed or not-what helped you? I’m not here for debates, just honest experiences. JazakAllah khair. I feel so lost.