My Experience with Regret and Separation: Seeking Advice from My Brothers and Sisters in Faith

Peace be upon you and God's mercy and blessings. I'm suffering from a situation and I need sincere advice from those who've been through similar experiences. There was a student in my class. She was the first to make me feel I had value; she invited me to a study group for the first time in my life. I'd never interacted with a girl that way, and she gave me sincere advice about my religion, and I helped her too. Without her even realizing, she changed me: in my modesty, in my prayers, in my character, in how I treated myself. I prayed to God to give me strength, to ease my study and work affairs, to get rid of my introversion, and to love her in a way that pleases God Almighty, because she - despite what some people said poorly about her due to her skin color or origin - had high morals. But I couldn't control my feelings and I saw a light of guidance in her. I even dreamt more than once that we were at the Sacred Kaaba on a sunny day on a white path, and I dreamt of a simple marriage ceremony at my father's house. I truly saw her as a sister and emulated her character. I don't have a sister at home, and that was enough, but unfortunately, I expanded the matter and became a source of annoyance to her due to my excessive attachment. I started worrying about her more than necessary, interfering in what doesn't concern me, sending messages that shouldn't be sent, asking more of her than I should, and even accused her of things at one point. My intention wasn't bad, but the impact of my actions was hurtful and made her feel unsafe. My behavior was reported and now I'm separated from my entire class, studying alone, and the connections I built over the year have gone to waste. I aspired to marry her eventually and said so once. I was reported multiple times and asked to stop, but I kept sending messages driven by a pressing feeling of needing to connect. I cried a lot when I heard the separation decision. I prayed the Istikhara prayer and asked God to open my heart. I now feel some relief because she is safe from my bad behavior, my intrusion, and my excessive interference in her affairs. Praise be to God, I didn't do anything physically forbidden, but I was an emotional danger to her until she had to report me. I was emotionally obsessed. I now want to get rid of the feeling of guilt and move forward. My academic advisor told me she has forgiven me, which is a great kindness from her. I pray to God to bestow upon her more than she deserves. I now feel that she is safe, that I can no longer reach her, and I don't even want to. But I'm still sad and feel guilty toward myself, and how I wish I could turn back time. My questions are for those who went through something like this: 1. For those who had a similar experience: Did you manage to reconnect with that person in a halal way, or did God compensate you with someone better? And did you feel the alternative was more supportive of your religion and interests? (Personally, I aspire to move to a Muslim country, God willing, and work in university teaching). 2. How did you deal with feelings of guilt and loneliness after the incident? Did you turn to your parents or close ones for help? Have you heard of "love" cases that ended worse, making you say, "I won't put myself in such a situation"? 3. How did you finally get married? Did the partner come from where you least expected, or did you have to wait a long time, or did you marry quickly? May God reward you greatly. I seek forgiveness from God and repent to Him.