My dad's nephew from Pakistan is staying with us and it's affecting our family peace...
Assalamu alaikum, My cousin from Pakistan has been staying with us for a few months now while he attends college. His stay could last from one to over four years. My father often invites relatives to live with us, but it usually ends up with my mom handling all the cooking, cleaning, and emotional support, while we're expected to just respect them without question. This is now the second Ramadan in a row where our household peace feels disrupted because of this situation. Instead of it being a calm and spiritual month for our close family, there's tension and extra responsibilities. My dad's view is always the same: "I pay the bills here. What more do you need?" That's where the discussion ends for him. But here's the problem: - He sends money to support relatives back home. - He says we don't have enough money left. - Yet he keeps bringing more extended family to stay with us. - My mom ends up with all the household work. - When issues come up, I'm told to "be nicer," "find somewhere else to live," or "I don't need you here." This nephew also has ongoing disagreements with us and calls his father back home (who my dad supports), and when we have tension, he complains and my dad gets pressured to deal with me. It feels like our immediate family's needs always come second to extended family duties, and any disagreement is seen as disrespect. I'm not against helping family, but when does helping relatives start hurting your own family's peace and stability? Is it wrong for me to feel upset about this? I'm making dua for things to get better. He even shows up uninvited at my workplace (since I work with my dad) and just sits there awkwardly until my dad leaves. It feels like he's keeping watch on the family, and it's been tough on my mom and siblings too. The family bond I'm trying to build as we get older is getting damaged by his presence. I don't want to keep complaining every day. Should I talk to his father directly and ask him to manage the situation he brought to us? My brothers are out of school, and my dad just can't stop 'helping' other people's children. When I mention it, he says, "THEY'RE NOT OTHER PEOPLE, THEY'RE FAMILY. YOU GREW UP IN AMERICA, YOU THINK DIFFERENTLY." P.S. - My mental health is going down because of all this, especially since I'm already dealing with career struggles. Alhamdulillah for everything, but it's getting really hard.