I realized I’ve been Preparing for my life instead of actually living it. Salaam.

As-salamu alaykum - I realized I’ve been preparing for my life instead of actually living it. This is kinda hard to admit, but I think I’ve been hiding behind self-improvement for a while now. For years I’ve told myself I’m working on myself. Reading things. Planning routines. Watching videos about habits, discipline, money, health. Always feeling like I’m almost there. Like if I just learn a bit more or fix one more thing then I’ll finally start taking my life seriously. But when I actually look at my life… not much has changed. On paper, yeah, things look better. I know more, I can explain what I should be doing pretty well, I’ve got systems, plans, ideas saved everywhere. But the real moves? The uncomfortable ones? The ones that would actually change something? I keep pushing those off. And I think I know why preparing feels safe and acting upon them doesn’t. When you’re getting ready, you don’t really have to risk anything. You can tell yourself you’re still learning, still figuring it out, still being responsible. You’re not failing… but you’re also not really moving. My phone definitely makes this worse. A lot of my self-improvement lives on a screen. Reading another thread. Watching another breakdown. Saving another post I’ll come back to. It feels productive but it also keeps everything at arm’s length. What hit me recently was realizing how long I’ve been saying I’m getting ready. Ready for what? And for how long exactly? At some point it’s not preparation anymore. It’s just delay with a nicer label. I don’t have some big takeaway or fix here. I’m just noticing that my comfort zone isn’t only scrolling or zoning out. It’s also planning, learning, optimizing, and telling myself I’m being smart by waiting. Lately I’m trying to do more small, messy actions instead. Stuff that isn’t perfectly thought through. Stuff that doesn’t live entirely on my phone or in my head. Stuff that could actually go wrong. For example, instead of endlessly researching how to start learning a halal side skill, I set aside one hour after Fajr to actually practise something messy and imperfect. I blocked that time on my calendar and told my spouse about it so I’d be accountable. Small things: a brief phone-free walk after salah, making a call I’d been postponing, or trying a simple business step that might fail. Still figuring it out. Just wondering if anyone else has noticed this pattern too. Edit/Update: JazakAllahu khayr for the replies and advice. One thing a bunch of people suggested that actually helped was to stop aiming for a full life reset and just do one small win early in the day. I also tried blocking real time slots on my calendar instead of guessing my day. What surprised me MOST was adding a screen-time blocker during those slots - it’s like having a strict older sibling inside your phone. You try to open Instagram, and boom - lock screen with a reminder: “Are you sure?” It’s annoying but effective. Putting those two together has actually made the days feel clearer.