Heartfelt Thoughts About Marriage

Salam alaikum, does anyone else ever wish they could’ve found their soulmate when they were younger and just tied the knot? I think about this a lot. Being Saudi, when I’m ready for marriage, it’ll likely be arranged by my family, and honestly, that thought makes me nervous. I wish I could marry someone I already know deeply, like a close friend, but going the boyfriend route just doesn’t feel right or halal to me. Another thing that keeps me up at night is worrying that after we’re married, I might discover his true colors or some hidden secret. Is it just me feeling this way?