Finding my way through Ramadan's quiet moments

Salaam everyone, this Ramadan has had me feeling pretty lonely. I know it's supposed to be a time for deep reflection and getting closer to Allah SWT, but honestly, I've just felt heavy and tired throughout. That excited feeling I usually get for suhoor or iftar? It just wasn't there this year. Everything felt a bit dull, and I feel like I didn't use the blessed month to its full advantage. I kept thinking about all the wrongdoings I could have easily avoided, just for these thirty days. I still prayed all five salah, even if I had to rush home sometimes to make it. But there were moments where it felt like it wasn't enough, you know? Like my efforts would never add up to the mountain of good deeds I was hoping for. I'd think, 'I'm not reading enough Quran,' so I'd read some, and it *would* help, but this underlying feeling of being down just stuck around. Don't get me wrong, there were beautiful days too, Alhamdulillah. Sharing iftar with family, fasting together with friends, and making collective duas. I wasn't trying to let my feelings mess up my Ramadan, even though they kind of did. I genuinely wanted to push through the hard parts. There was this one really tough day where nothing seemed to help. The things that usually bring me joy in Ramadan just weren't hitting the same. But then I prayed. And in that one salah, I felt so comforted and seen by Allah SWT. It was such a relief that I practically felt light going into the next prayers. So yeah, this wasn't a Ramadan where I excelled at everything. But it taught me about perseverance in my deen, especially when things are a struggle. Sometimes I look around at other Muslims who seem to be thriving and wonder if it's just me feeling held back because I couldn't perfectly keep myself in check. Was anyone else on this kind of journey this Ramadan?