Feeling Lost in My Deen Journey

Assalamu alaikum everyone. I'm really going through a rough patch with my iman because of how things are at home, and I don't know how to deal with it anymore. My mother is actually quite knowledgeable. She's studied the Qur'an with translations and even teaches others. In front of people-especially her friends and students-she's known for her kindness, soft words, generosity, and strong faith. She gives sadaqah openly and always reminds others about the harms of gheebah (backbiting), the importance of sabr (patience), and having good akhlaq (character). But at home? It's like a different person shows up. She's often very critical and puts me down, especially about my studies and future. She talks a lot about her own achievements in a way that makes me feel small. She's quick to get angry, quick to say harsh things in frustration, and quick to assume the worst about people without knowing the full story. If I ever try to gently suggest that maybe we shouldn't speak about others like that, she turns it around on me. She'll say things like, "You don't even pray properly," or point out any small, outward flaw. It feels like deen is being used to make me feel ashamed, not to help me grow closer to Allah. This has really hurt my confidence over the years. I grew up feeling compared, especially to my brother who always got more attention and praise. I've felt emotionally ignored for a long time. Now I see myself always looking for love and reassurance from others because I never really got it consistently at home. My father is usually calm and kind, but whenever my mother says something unfair, he just supports her without even seeing what actually happened. Just recently, during sehri, she told him I was about to break a plate-which wasn't true at all; it was safely placed on the shelf. My dad wasn't even looking, but he immediately got upset and said something really harsh. I hadn't argued at all; I'd just taken my food and gone to my room. That moment really shook me. I was holding back tears because I don't like to cry in front of anyone, so I just stayed quiet. She's quick to get physically upset, insult, or hurt my feelings. And it makes me question everything. I don't hate Islam at all. I'm just really, really confused. I keep hearing about the rights of parents in Islam, but I almost never hear about what happens when parents are emotionally hurtful, manipulative, or use the deen as a weapon. It makes me feel like daughters don't have any rights, like parents will never be asked about how they treated their kids. Seeing someone teach Qur'an so openly but act so differently in private has really shaken my heart. I'm trying so hard to separate Islam from my parents' actions, but it's really difficult when religion is constantly used to silence you and make you feel bad about yourself. I feel lost. I feel angry. And then I feel guilty for even feeling angry. I don't know how to rebuild a strong, healthy connection with my faith when everything around me feels so full of hypocrisy. Has anyone else ever felt this way? How do you learn to love the deen when some of the people who were supposed to teach it to you made it so painful?