Feeling Exhausted by Life's Trials, But Holding onto Faith

Assalamu Alaikum. My world was turned upside down when my mother passed away unexpectedly during what was supposed to be a joyful family trip, leaving my father, siblings, and me heartbroken and feeling incredibly lonely. We reassure each other with the belief that death comes by Allah's will, even though it feels too soon, and there's nothing we can do but accept it. As the eldest child, I've taken on all household responsibilities-cleaning, cooking, and everything in between. My father insists on helping, but with his health declining since my mother's passing, I worry about him and try to handle things myself. My sister rarely helps unless I repeatedly ask, and to avoid arguments, I often just do the work. My younger brother is still a child, and I'm determined to shield him from these burdens so his childhood remains untouched. On a personal note, I was involved in an improper relationship for three years, believing it would lead to marriage, only to be betrayed and left heartbroken. Just as I was starting to heal, my mother's sudden death reopened those wounds. Now, I find myself avoiding my emotions because even a moment of quiet brings panic and overwhelming grief. Recently, my father mentioned that in a few years, he'd like to arrange my marriage to a good man, concerned about finding someone responsible who will be like a son to our family. When he asked if I had anyone in mind, I drew a blank-the person I trusted betrayed me in my time of need, offering only empty words. I'm wary of an arranged marriage where differences could cause years of adjustment, hoping instead for someone with a similar background, but I'm scared to open up and risk being hurt again, especially after losing my mother. Our relatives appear supportive on the surface but aren't truly there for us, with tensions and misunderstandings lingering. Some have even pressured my father about marrying me within the family, leading to strained relationships when we declined. There's someone I admire from a distance, but I don't know his true character or situation, and there are complications with mutual connections. Sometimes, I wonder if these are tests from Allah or consequences of my actions, but ultimately, I trust that only Allah knows what lies ahead for me.