Struggling with prayer and family pressure, I need guidance.
Assalamu alaikum everyone, I hope you're all in the best of faith. I really need some advice because things have been tough lately. My dad, who's getting older, is very strict about prayer times. He wakes us up for Fajr in a really harsh way, with lots of yelling and name-calling, which makes mornings really stressful. After that, we have to listen to Quran explanations for like 30 to 45 minutes. He's a good person otherwise, works hard and encourages us, but he's very controlling and insists we obey him without question, always sharing videos about being grateful and focusing on deen over dunya. About me: if I'm not forced, I actually enjoy waking up and praying, and I try my best to follow my deen. But all this pressure triggers a rebellious side in me, and my mental health is suffering day by day. Because of this, I've started feeling a strong dislike towards prayer and even Islam-which I never wanted to feel. Sometimes I just open the Quran without proper wudu pretending to read, or go to the mosque without wudu and just go through the motions. It's getting worse. Recently, I started my professional training at a firm and I'm also studying for another certification. My dad says he won't allow it unless the workplace lets me pray all my prayers there, and he wants me to leave all this worldly stuff. Waking up to this emotional drama every day is wrecking my mental health; I have so much to handle with my studies, training, and other responsibilities, I don't need extra stress. I'm exhausted before my day even begins. I'm seriously thinking-and I don't want to feel this way-that the first thing I'll do after finishing my training is move out of this situation. I even considered lying to him, saying I'm praying at work. But I don't know if I'm handling this right. I don't want to lose my faith because of this, and I don't want to live as a fake person either. I also really don't want my career to suffer. Can anyone suggest how you manage to pray at work or if you have any advice? JazakAllah khair.