Struggling with faith after losing my brother. How can I find peace?
Salam everyone, I'm hoping to hear from anyone who's been through something like this. Last year, my brother passed away, and it's shaken my entire belief in life and in Allah. He was in his mid-30s, a dedicated doctor who worked so hard his whole life. We lost our mother when we were young, so things were never easy. Despite that, he pushed through with very little support and finally reached a stable, comfortable place. Then suddenly, he fell ill and was gone within a month. He was such a kind soul, never harmed anyone, and kept serving his patients even while he was sick. After he died, I stopped praying. I want to reconnect with my faith, but it feels fake to start praying when my heart isn't truly in it. I keep asking why he was taken, why him, why now. It's deeply affected me. My father is barely himself anymore-he's lost his wife and now his son. Has anyone else faced this? People keep telling me it's Allah's plan, and I'm sorry, but that just doesn't comfort me-it makes me angry. What can I do to find some peace? I spent two years making dua for my brother. He was alone and unwell, yet continued working full-time at the hospital, and I had hope he wouldn't decline. For context, I didn't grow up practicing Islam. I found my deen about four years ago.