Strange Signs Lately

Assalamu alaikum. I’m not a practicing Muslim-honestly, I’ve been far from faith for years, even dabbled in things I’m not proud of. I used to be an acolyte in the Orthodox Church, but I walked away a long time ago when my belief faded. That’s a whole other story. Anyway, I’ve been going through a rough patch. Depression, bad habits, you name it. Recently, though, I keep noticing these little reminders that shake me up. A coworker played a nasheed the other day, Ana Maradun I think, and reading the translation hit me hard-I almost teared up. Then an old Muslim buddy texted me out of the blue, saying I’d been on his mind and he felt something was off with me. It’s messing with my head. I feel ashamed of where I’m at in life, and these signs bring this strange fear I can’t explain. I thought about talking to an imam, but I don’t want to bother someone so busy. Maybe someone here can offer advice. It’s driving me crazy, and I’m scared my family or close friends would turn their backs if I opened up.