I stepped away from Islam when it felt overwhelming, now I’m torn inside

Assalamu alaikum. I used to hold my deen close to my heart, but gradually, practicing started to weigh heavily on my mind. It wasn’t just the big obligations-even simple joys like watching anime, playing video games, listening to nasheed, or enjoying a movie came with a nagging fear that I might be doing something haram. I craved a break from that constant worry and guilt. Somewhere along the way, I drifted toward disbelief, convincing myself I just wanted mental freedom. But lately, I’ve seen shifts in my character that honestly scare me: I snap over tiny things, jealousy creeps in more often, I feel less remorse when I mess up, and there’s this hollow feeling I never expected. Here’s where it gets confusing: certain aspects of Islam still resonate with my mind deeply-like the concept of Tawhid, the meaning of life, and the questions around the Qur’an and our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). Christianity, for instance, doesn’t click with me logically. Yet I can’t shake off thoughts like: if there’s one God, why did He allow so many religions? Why do our brothers and sisters in places like Palestine suffer so much? Why would Allah permit this confusion? I’m not here to bash religion or atheism. I sincerely want to hear from anyone who’s wrestled with doubt and belief-especially if you left the faith because it felt too restrictive, then found yourself conflicted later. Did you ever feel like this?