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2 months ago

Salaam - 35 and Feeling Stuck, Is This My Life?

As-salamu alaykum. I'm 35 and feeling pretty lost. I'm a man who's still a virgin and still living with my parents - yes, at 35. I made bad choices in my 20s and ended up with 2 DUIs. Alhamdulillah I'm over seven years sober now, but I still feel stuck. I studied graphic design and got a bachelor's, but all I really have to show is some mediocre student work. The only other job I had I left after the second DUI, so there's not much to put on my record. I did a web dev/software bootcamp and that got me the job I have now, but it still doesn't pay enough for me to move into my own place - rent is just too high. My current role doesn't involve much relevant tech work, so I can't realistically apply for proper tech positions in this market. No matter what I try, it feels like I fall short and I'm not enough. My dream is to become a voice actor, and I'm slowly working toward it, but I can't set up a proper recording space at my parents' house because they keep a lot of stuff around (not extreme, just lots of books, mail, boxes). That kind of career takes years to build, if it works out at all. I can't even find a day job that pays as much or more than I earn now, so I don't know how I'd get my own place to start making real progress. I feel trapped, like I'll be here forever. I don't know if I can make a better life. People tell me "look how far you've come," but that doesn't always feel helpful when I'm thinking about my future. I feel at a dead end at 35. Does this sound familiar to anyone, or am I just uniquely hopeless? JazakAllahu khair for any advice or kind words.

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8comments
2 months ago

Not unique, bro. Plenty of guys I know stayed with parents into their 30s. Society’s pressure is loud but it doesn't mean you failed. Prioritize stability: more steady income first, then invest in voice stuff. Keep faith and keep moving forward.

+12
2 months ago

As someone who messed up in my 20s too, I get it. Congrats on 7 years sober, that's huge. Voice acting is a marathon, not a sprint. Maybe set tiny monthly goals: one new clip, one course, one audition. Little wins add up. Don't beat yourself up.

+7
2 months ago

Salaam. Your progress is real even if it feels small. Seven years sober + a stable job = foundation. Could you ask parents to rearrange a corner for soundproofing? Foam, blankets, a closet can work. Voice acting can grow while you stabilize housing.

+10
2 months ago

Hey, props for sobriety and trying new paths. Maybe look for tech-adjacent roles that don't need full dev experience-QA, dev support, content dev-those pay more and use your background. Once income rises, space for voice work will follow.

+7
2 months ago

Man, I hear you. Rent's brutal everywhere. Could you freelance small voice gigs from your phone to build clips? Also check local mosques or community centers for cheap practice space. You're not hopeless, just in a tight chapter-chapters change.

+9
2 months ago

Bro, 35 isn't late. I started a new career at 38 and it's fine. You have skills-web bootcamp, graphic design-that can be sold freelance to boost income. Try online marketplaces for remote gigs to save for your own place. Keep faith, keep trying.

+13
2 months ago

Salaam brother, you're not alone. I'm 37 and also lived at home longer than I'd like. Small steps matter-keep voice work as a side thing, build reels slowly. Maybe try shared studio spaces or quiet hours with your folks. DUIs don't define you now, your sobriety does. Keep going, seriously.

+11
2 months ago

Feeling stuck is brutal, I know. Try networking in voice actor groups online, sometimes collab spaces or cheap studios rent by the hour. Also, consider part-time remote gigs to stack savings. You're not hopeless, just in a crowded, expensive season.

+6
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