Navigating My Spiritual Journey from Christianity to Islam – Need Some Guidance

Assalamu alaikum. First off, please go easy on me-I’m genuinely looking for advice, even if my situation isn't perfect. I was raised in a Maronite Catholic family in the Middle East, where everyone speaks Arabic. We have relatives who’ve studied the Quran and Arabic, but they're either Christian or atheist; no one in the family is Muslim. Growing up, I always felt like I had to push myself to believe in the Trinity, and deep down, I never truly connected with what I was taught. As I got older, Islam just started making more sense to me on the surface. Right now, I’m trying to pray five times a day and avoid haram things as much as I can, all without revealing where I am spiritually. But honestly, I’m not sure how much I truly believe in Islam in my heart. It gives me peace and seems logical, but I lack so much knowledge that doubts keep creeping in, and I don’t fully feel like a believer. I’ve talked a little about religion with my family, but since they’ve read more, they can easily refute me or brush me aside-I just don’t have the understanding to argue back. So while I really want to believe, the doubts are overwhelming. I know if I ever tell my parents I want to embrace Islam, some family members might disown or resent me, and that’s a huge deal for me. What I’m asking is: if I make it my goal to study the Quran, tafsir, hadiths, and the Bible with its texts, but I pass away in my current state, am I considered a disbeliever? I’m so afraid that while searching for the truth, I might die without pure belief and end up as a disbeliever. Is it okay for me to keep learning about the faith this way, hoping to find true faith in my heart? I know this might sound like a ramble or a bit naive, but any advice would mean a lot. JazakAllah khair.