Lost in a Fog: Feeling Numb and Far from Allah

Assalamu alaikum. I'm reaching out because I'm in a state I can't describe, maybe someone here has felt something similar. I'm a Muslimah, and my iman feels nearly gone. I used to have such yaqeen in Allah and believed things would improve, but now I can't find that hope. Every day feels heavier, like it's only getting worse. I try to make dua, but I stop myself-like I'm not worthy or I think Allah is angry with me because of my mistakes. I'm not thinking of ending my life; I'm too scared of Allah for that. But if I'm honest, I don't really want to live either. I know that sounds awful, but I have to be truthful. Mostly I just feel empty. Things that used to move me just don't. I can't stand my body-I hate the feeling of my skin, my face moving. Mirrors make me cringe, and I don't want my family to look at me. I wish I could just disappear. It's not ordinary sadness. It's like I'm stuck in a body that's not mine, totally detached. Sometimes being sick almost feels like a relief, like it gives me an excuse to fade away. I'm not looking for sympathy or to be judged as a bad Muslim. I already feel so far from myself and my deen. I'm only asking because some part of me still cares: Islamically, what can a person do when they feel this hopeless, numb, disgusted by their own body, and cut off from Allah? Are there specific duas, verses, hadith, or little steps that helped you when your heart felt dead and your emotions were shut down? How do you force yourself to pray when you feel totally blocked inside? Please remember me in your duas.