Just When I Started to Heal, My Faith Was Tested Again

I can't share details since people close to me might see this, but I need to let this out. For years, I struggled with anxiety, sadness, and a heavy heart. It wasn't just a bad phase-it lasted years. I spent countless nights in tears. I begged Allah, prayed tahajjud, made du'a until I had no words left. I kept being told to be patient, that Allah is with the patient, so I held on. Slowly, things began to improve. I started sleeping again, smiling again, even laughing without forcing it. For the first time in ages, I felt maybe my prayers were finally answered. Then suddenly, everything crumbled. I've faced something that took away my dignity. I've endured mockery and humiliation, and it feels like all the healing I fought for is being destroyed. What stings most is I'm struggling to pray. When I stand on my prayer mat, I just want to cry. Sometimes I don't even want to raise my hands, feeling like I'm talking to someone who doesn't listen. It seems like after years of pleading, crying, and worshiping, every moment of peace I find is snatched away. People say 'Allah tests those He loves,' but after all this pain, those words don't comfort me anymore. It just makes me wonder how much a person can bear. I'm so tired. Making du'a feels like torment now.