I’ve repeatedly said 'I don’t want to live' – and now I deeply regret it. What comes next?

Assalamu alaikum, everyone. I’ve spoken those words out loud more times than I can count, and my heart is heavy with regret. My dear mother is so saddened that she asked my father to make sincere dua for me, because she sees I’ve lost my drive and zest for life. Even though my feelings haven’t fully changed, I truly wish I hadn’t voiced those thoughts. I worry constantly-my good deeds feel so few, and Jannah seems far away. My biggest fear now is this: did Allah, in His infinite wisdom, take my despairing words as a kind of prayer or request? My mind is in such turmoil I can’t think clearly. Any advice or reminder from a fellow Muslim would be a blessing.