I Can't Keep Living Like This

Asalaamu alaikum, I need to let this out. I'm South Asian and I've always found making friends hard. I only had one real best friend, and we stayed close after school, but her world was nothing like mine. My parents thought social stuff wasn't important, so I never learned how to connect with people. Then I was homeschooled for two years in high school, which killed whatever little social life I had built. My parents even made me cut off that friend after nine years, saying they didn't trust her. Now, I'm homeschooled for college too, so forget about meeting anyone. I've begged to join clubs, do cooking classes, or even just go to the local masjid, but they refuse. I've been stuck at home for three years, and this year I've only gone out a handful of times, just for groceries. Seeing other Muslim sisters enjoying life with their friends hits me hard - I feel so left out. I'm not allowed to talk to people online either. My days are just cooking, schoolwork, and scrolling on my phone in secret, doing odd side gigs. My parents tell me to pray and stay firm in faith, but I wonder: what's the point when I'm trapped here, wasting away? I've lost the desire to even step outside. I have to hide everything I do online because they check my messages. I don't get how they think I can be okay with unlimited internet but zero real-life connections. It's suffocating. I don't hate them; I know my dad's strict rules and my mom's trust issues come from her past hurts. They think they're protecting me, but honestly, I feel broken, like a failure who can't even pray properly. It stings to see others my age living their lives while I'm just existing. I haven't had my phone freely since 2025.