How do I forgive myself after coming back to Islam?

Waalaikum assalam sister, I've been trying to change and return to Islam for the last 2–3 months - doing salah, reading Qur'an, wearing hijab when I go out, and learning more. I feel like Allah has been calling me back because I used to drift away. I was always a bit spiritual, but because of religious trauma growing up (I live where people even support the war), I stopped believing in Allah for many years. I'm still struggling with salah - I miss a lot because it's not part of my routine yet. I forgot surahs I memorized at school. I also did many things that were clearly haram when I was younger. I feel so ashamed and awful. I keep telling myself I'm sinful and don't deserve this closeness with Allah. I know He forgives, and my friends say that my sincere effort is enough. Yet I can't stop thinking I'm "dirty" for rejecting Allah before. My old friends and some family used to encourage those haram things and mocked the idea of returning to Islam. Back then I knew it was wrong but I did it anyway. Now I regret it and want to be better, but those memories keep coming back. Sisters who have reverted or are reverting, how did you cope with this? My new friends accept me and remind me that Allah forgives, and that helps, but I still can't forgive myself. It even distracts me in prayer. I feel unworthy of Allah's mercy, while also knowing it's not my place to decide who deserves what. It's a mess of feelings and contradictions. Is this normal when you're trying to make tawbah? I want peace and to stay close to Allah and practice Islam properly. Please share any advice, duas, or practical tips that helped you overcome this guilt and build a consistent routine. JazakAllah khair.