From Reversion to Heartache: Seeking a Trustworthy Partner

Salaam. I'm a revert who, after a few years in Islam, met a man I believed was the one. We got married, but it was complicated-he struggled with being avoidant and even compromised his faith to avoid upseting his parents, which was really tough. We didn't tell our families about the marriage because we're both reverts and knew they'd oppose it, but that secrecy brought me shame. When I asked him to be honest with his parents like I did with mine, he refused, leading to our first divorce, though we reconciled during the iddah period. At the time, I was in a low place mentally-lonely, with my mother distant and friends far away-so I let the issue go. Our marriage started to feel more like a haram relationship than a nikah, with him pulling away from Allah and questioning his faith after we were married. It was scary; I felt deceived, like he had pretended to be what I needed just to secure the marriage, then changed. We eventually divorced again. I'm heartbroken but trust that Allah had a reason for this trial. I've grown so much, yet I struggle to believe I can find a trustworthy spouse who won't hurt me, especially as a revert without a strong community or believing family. I don't fully trust random sheikhs for advice either-they don't know my heart. I think about how Khadija (RA) married the Prophet ﷺ after seeing his character through work, and that's how I met my ex too-through shared activism where he seemed amazing. But I've since learned of a deep betrayal that makes me doubt everything. I feel hopeless and scared; though he never abused me physically, I know stories of 'good' men who turned harmful. Is love even possible for me? It's all I've ever wanted, feeling like love is why we exist and Allah created us, yet in friendships and marriage, people betray me, using my mercy against me. How do reverts find trustworthy spouses without a solid community or family support?