Feeling Overwhelmed and Longing for Peace - As-salamu alaykum
As-salamu alaykum. M29, Muslim by birth, I pray and follow the Naqshbandi silsila, and do azkar. I'm a sensitive person - whenever something bad happens to others it weighs on me. I prefer solitude and quiet. I work and write poetry on the side. Since I can remember, mornings are the hardest. I wake with a heavy chest and the sense that I’m losing everything. Most days I feel emotionally numb and disconnected. There’s a deep sorrow I can’t shake. I have friends and family, hobbies, and people who care, but I still feel alone and like I don’t belong. Joy feels fleeting; sadness lingers. My relationship with my wife/fiancée is broken, and I’ve had trouble with past relationships too. I struggle to share what I feel - only my older sister knows a little. I don’t think anyone truly understands, and I’ve accepted that to some extent, but surviving it is hard. I’ve had thoughts of wanting it all to end; I want to meet my Lord and speak about it. I believe in Allah and submit my life to Him, yet I also feel the need to complain and pour out my heart to Him. I’m sharing this in the hope of finding comfort, dua, or advice from brothers and sisters who may have gone through similar feelings. JazakAllahu khair.