Feeling Lost and Questioning Why This is Happening

Assalamu alaikum everyone. I just needed to vent a bit. It feels like every time I really want something, it just doesn't work out. There's this one thing I've been dreaming about and making dua for, for such a long time, and I was over the moon when it finally seemed within reach. But now it's all falling apart. After years of effort and hope, it's being taken away. Honestly, I'm really struggling right now and having some really dark thoughts that scare me-I don't want to feel this way. I love Allah SWT with all my heart, but I can't help but wonder why this test is so hard. How can I improve myself and strengthen my faith so I can feel close to Him again? Any advice or reminders would be appreciated.