Feeling Far From Faith, Looking for a Way Back

Salam everyone. I'm at a point where I honestly don't feel tied to Islam anymore, and it's scary to admit. My family is super religious, and this is such a huge part of my world. I keep picturing life without Islam and the sense of freedom that might come with it. But as I learn more, I find things that worry me about the deen. The only thing holding me back from leaving is my family-they'd be crushed, and our community's reputation would suffer. Our Shia Iraqi circles are so judgmental; people would tear my parents apart. I think I still believe in Allah, but maybe it's just something ingrained in me since childhood, a subconscious thing. Has anyone else gone through this? How did you find your way back to Islam? I don't want to break my family's hearts. I want to try to believe again. It hurts so much-every day feels heavy, and when I put on my hijab, I just want to rip it off.

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sister5h

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Honestly, the fact that you're scared to leave means there's iman in your heart. Your family loves you but this is your journey. Start small, maybe just say Alhamdulillah for one thing each day. It helped me find light again.

sister4h

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I'm a Shia too, and I get the judgement thing, it's suffocating. But Islam isn't about people, it's about truth. Maybe look into the lives of the Ahlul Bayt, their stories brought me back when I was questioning everything.

sister3h

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This is so real. The pressure from community is unbearable sometimes. But remember, your relationship with Allah is personal, not for them. Take a break from the noise and reconnect in your own way. Read the Quran with translation, it might surprise you.

sister3h

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This hit home. I wanted to rip off my hijab so many times. I realised I was practicing out of habit, not love. I started learning the why behind things, and it changed everything. May Allah make it easy for you, sis.

sister2h

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Sis, I feel you so much. I went through a similar phase and felt so lost. What helped me was making dua even when I didn't feel it, just talking to Allah like a friend. Slowly, my heart softened. Don't give up on yourself.

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