Dealing with Disturbing Thoughts and Bad Habits

Salam alaykum. I’m struggling with something that’s been eating at me, and I feel like I need to share it. I keep getting really unwanted thoughts about Islam, even about the prophets, and it makes me feel horrible. I’m not sure if I’m describing this right since English isn’t my first language, but it’s gotten to a point where I can’t just brush it off anymore. I know that what I’m doing is wrong-like watching, listening to, or reading things that are haram, if you know what I mean. I’m fully aware I should quit, but it’s so addictive, and deep down, I don’t really feel like stopping. I can’t bring myself to even want to stop, and that scares me. What makes it worse is that those haram things somehow triggered these awful thoughts. They’re disgusting and weird, and they pop into my head even when I’m doing ordinary stuff. At first, I told myself they’re just 'unwanted' thoughts and tried to ignore them. But now I’m realising I shouldn’t be having them at all, and that I need to quit whatever is causing them. But the problem is, I don’t even want to try quitting. I don’t know what to do anymore. Is ignoring these thoughts even okay? I know the solution is to give up the bad stuff, but I can’t. I just wish I wasn’t such a bad person. This might seem like a small issue with an obvious fix, but for me, it feels impossible. My feelings are all over the place-one day I’m drowning in guilt and shame, the next day I feel nothing, and today I’m crying about it. I’m so exhausted that I don’t even want to get out of bed. Has anyone been through this and found a way out? I could really use some advice or du'a.