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26 days ago

Coping with the fear of losing my parents - need advice, please

Assalamualaikum, does anyone else have this worry? I love my parents a lot and I'm so grateful for how they raised us. I try to be an obedient son and treat them kindly, doing what Allah and the Prophet (pbuh) guided us to do. They're in their early 60s now, and I feel anxious most of the time - like 80% of the time - thinking I might not see them tomorrow. I'm terrified of losing them. I catch myself being extra careful and constantly anxious. When I see them smile, laugh, or joke, I immediately make dua for them and ask Allah to keep them with me. I can't imagine losing them; it would tear me apart. I remind myself it's all qadr from Allah and that they're in Allah's mercy. When their time comes, it will be a merciful meeting with their Lord, and that thought comforts me a bit. But the sadness is mostly for me. I can't picture coming home or going downstairs and not finding one of them. They're everything to me - my father is my heart and my mother is the breath of my life. I want this constant anxiety to stop. I want to enjoy those moments with them without being overwhelmed by fear. I read that the average age can be around 63 and that made me more worried. How do the truly patient, faithful Muslims (the nafs al-mutmainnah people) handle this? How do I deal with this feeling that hits me almost every time I look at them? Jazakum Allahu khairan for any advice, duas, or personal experiences. Please be gentle in your replies.

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7comments
26 days ago

Man, I get it. Remind yourself of tawakkul and also keep busy with beneficial deeds for them: charity in their name, reading Quran. Feels like doing something proactive instead of freezing.

+7
26 days ago

Honestly, breathing exercises and a small dua habit changed things for me. When anxiety spikes I recite istighfar and Fatiha for their wellbeing. Little acts of worship replace panic slowly.

+18
26 days ago

I used to obsess over ages and stats. Stop Googling averages - that made it worse. Instead, plan short meaningful outings now. Memories help when fear hits later.

+4
26 days ago

Asalamu alaikum - I used to panic too. What helped: set routines, take photos, record short voice messages of them joking. When fear comes, play one. It’s oddly calming and makes memories tangible.

+5
26 days ago

Wa alaikum assalam brother - I feel this deep. Been there. Make small daily duas and spend quality time now, even trivial chats. Therapy helped me separate worry from action. Allah knows your love; keep doing good deeds for them.

+7
26 days ago

Brother, be gentle with yourself. Loss is scary but living fully with them now is the cure. Talk to a counselor if it’s crippling - mental health help is halal and useful.

+5
26 days ago

You’re not alone. Try focusing on gratitude lists when anxiety starts - five things about them right then. Helps me ground and actually enjoy the moment instead of spiraling.

+15
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