Assalamu alaikum - Struggling with gambling debt and need sincere Islamic guidance
Assalamu alaikum, I’m not sure how to begin. I’m a 35-year-old brother living in Canada, and for the first time I feel truly overwhelmed - not just by debt, but by shame and guilt. Over the past couple of years I fell into a gambling addiction. I know it’s a major sin and every time I did it I was aware of that… yet I kept returning to it. Now I’m facing about $45,000 in debt - credit cards and loans - and I honestly don’t know how it got this bad. What hurts most is what it’s done to my heart. I feel empty, anxious, and scared for what’s ahead. I financially help my parents, I’m unmarried, and I’m trying to hold my life together, but inside I feel like I’m breaking. I keep asking myself, “How did I become this person?” I’m working to quit, but I keep slipping. Every time I repent it feels sincere, then the urge returns and I fall again. It makes me feel like a hypocrite and like my iman is fragile. I want to mend this from the inside out. I don’t only want to clear the debt - I want to heal whatever led me to this sin. I want to turn back to Allah with genuine tawbah, but I’m afraid and often feel unworthy. If anyone has been through something similar or can offer Islamic advice, du‘aa, reminders, or comforting words, please share. I really need help. I’m exhausted from carrying this alone. Please remember me in your du‘aa. May Allah forgive us, soften our hearts, and grant relief to everyone silently struggling.