Assalamu alaikum - I feel like I’m at a dead end and don’t know what to do

Assalamu alaikum, please make sincere dua for me, I really need it right now. I’ll be straight up: I keep messing up in everything I try, whether I mean to or not, and it eats me up. I just turned 18 and when I look back I can’t point to anything I’m proud of. Right now I have no education, no job - literally nothing. I feel like a bum. My parents are the typical strict African parents; they won’t encourage me but they never stop bringing up my mistakes and making me feel worse. I think I might be depressed but I don’t want to just self-diagnose. To give an example: through secondary school my parents told me to study, revise, but I hated it so I didn’t do it. During exams I’d try to study for ten minutes then get bored or annoyed. I can pick things up when lessons are fun and engaging, like maths in a lively class, but the second they put a paper in front of me in a dead quiet room I freeze. I worry if I try to go into teaching or something I’ll be stuck doing an unhappy job my whole life. I know education helps some people, but I see others doing well because of creative ideas, business sense, innovation - not just a degree. I don’t feel creative or entrepreneurial at all. I also have a terrible mindset problem. I’m not rude or moody with people, but motivation-wise I have a bad attitude: when things go wrong or get hard I go, “what’s the point?” That way of thinking has cost me a lot. I know it’s bad, but I can’t get it out of my head. It even affects my deen - sometimes I think what’s the point of making dua if nothing will change. The only thing I’m actually good at is football, but that hasn’t gone anywhere. Some parents want their son to be a doctor or whatever. I’m realistic - if I couldn’t make it pro I’d stop trying. I had chances in football but I ruined them. Years ago I faked an injury before an academy trial because I thought “not playing is better than making mistakes.” I was never a bad player, just mentally weak. Coaches used to tell me the same. I’m pessimistic about myself and I know a lot of it comes from my upbringing. I rarely got real praise - maybe a “well done” at best - but when things went wrong my parents would scream every negative thing and never let it go. They still bring up old mistakes. How can a child grow optimistic when they’re filled with negativity? I don’t want to blame them entirely, but I honestly think a different upbringing would’ve changed my mindset and reduced many mistakes. I realize more and more how costly some mistakes have been, but there’s no rewind button. It’s reached the point where I feel hopeless about my future and like I’m destined to stay stuck. What hurts most is my shakiness in deen. I pray on and off, make dua, but doubt creeps in. I ask myself why Allah would help me when I’m like this, and that thought stays locked in my head even when people tell me Allah is merciful. When things don’t go my way I sometimes stop praying or making dua, not out of anger at Allah but out of a “what’s the point” feeling. I could’ve written more but I didn’t want to make this too long. If anything’s unclear I can explain. Please give me honest advice and please make sincere dua that Allah changes my mindset, helps me reach my goals, and grants me the happiness I’ve been longing for. Jazakum Allahu khair.