As-salamu alaykum - I feel like I’ve lost everything
As-salamu alaykum. I don’t really know where to begin. This past year has been so rough that I’ve drifted away from practicing Islam and even started doubting it all, to be honest. My mind is full of constant doubts and overthinking - not the usual kind, it feels like something on a whole different level. It’s gotten so bad that my health has suffered. I struggle with basic tasks because my mind forgets things, I make mistakes, and physically I’m getting worse. My self-esteem is at rock bottom and going to school every day is just exhausting because my social anxiety has gotten much worse. I’m lost. My heart and mind are heavy with regrets and things I can’t even talk about. Lately I’ve been having thoughts that I don’t want to have - thinking about ending my life because I can’t see a way out. I feel like I’m losing my ability to think clearly and keep falling behind. The stress and pain are overwhelming. I have so many problems and little time to deal with them. My biggest exams are coming and I have no motivation to study or even keep up with school. I’m terrified of failing and letting my family down - they need me, but I don’t know how to be there for them when I can’t help myself. I don’t have dreams or goals right now, just this constant urge to give up. Please, I need help. I don’t want to disappoint my parents, and I don’t want to be stuck like this forever. If anyone can share advice on getting back on track with faith, dealing with intense doubt, or where to find support as a Muslim struggling with mental health and suicidal thoughts, I would be so grateful. JazakAllah khair.