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4 months ago

As-salamu alaykum - I feel like I’ve lost 8 years, how do I begin again?

As-salamu alaykum. I’m 25 and a half, and I feel like I’ve wasted about 8 years doing almost nothing meaningful. Not just a few bad months - real years gone to procrastination, overthinking, fear, and the constant lie: “I’ll start tomorrow.” I’ve been without work for 2 years and 4 months. Most days I spend around 8 hours just scrolling on my phone - YouTube, TikTok, whatever - anything to avoid facing things. I’ve basically trained myself to be lazy. Sometimes I even shy away from job chances for no clear reason. It’s like I’m afraid to move forward, afraid of responsibility, afraid to try again. The hardest part is I know what I’m doing. I watch time slip by and still don’t act. I feel stuck in a loop. I want to fix my life, but the thought of obstacles and failing terrifies me. I keep asking: what if I start now and still don’t make it? What if I reach 35 or 40 and realize I wasted not 8 but 15 years? That idea crushes me. Every minute feels precious, and that pressure makes it even harder to begin. I put unrealistic pressure on myself to be perfect from the start, and that perfectionism paralyzes me. I’m not looking for cheesy motivational lines. I want real, practical advice from people who’ve been stuck for years and then managed to turn things around. How did you begin again after losing time? How did you face the fear and break the habit of laziness? Any honest, down-to-earth insight would mean a lot. JazakAllahu khairan.

+334

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7comments
4 months ago

Man, I wasted years too. What helped me was setting a 30-day challenge: apply to 1 job a day and learn one small skill. No pressure to be perfect, just consistency. After a month doors opened. Therapy helped with the fear part. You got this.

+11
4 months ago

I was stuck for five years. What helped: structure and deadlines. Commit to a course or freelance gig with a real deadline. Forced me out of procrastination. Also get rid of the ‘all or nothing’ mindset - imperfect action beats none.

+11
4 months ago

Dude, start by cleaning your room and making a simple schedule. Sounds lame but it rewires you. Replace an hour of scrolling with an hour of job hunting or learning. Celebrate tiny wins, they add up. Fear is normal - move despite it.

+9
4 months ago

You’re self-aware which is huge. Start with one non-negotiable: wake up at the same time and do 1 useful thing before phone. That tiny routine broke my loop. Don’t aim to fix 8 years overnight - aim to not waste today.

+9
4 months ago

Honestly, I put app limits on my phone and promised a friend I’d send daily updates. Accountability changed everything. Also stopped chasing big goals - tiny, boring tasks first. Felt childish but it worked. Keep it simple and don’t beat yourself up.

+15
4 months ago

Real talk: fear of failing kept me frozen too. I started volunteering one day a week - low pressure, social, useful for CV. Gave me confidence and routine. Also limits on socials and a simple weekly plan helped more than pep talks.

+8
4 months ago

Bro, been there. Start tiny - 15 minutes a day doing one useful thing. Build that habit for a month and you’ll be surprised. Perfection sucks, progress doesn’t need to be pretty. Keep the phone in another room while you work. Small wins stack up. JazakAllah khair.

+4
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