15 Remedies to Ease the Heart’s Sadness

As-Salaamu Alaikum. I shared a similar piece before and many said it helped them. This one is a bit longer, but inshaAllah, I pray it supports those going through tough times. Every one of us has a tale of grief. Whether a person is rich or poor, healthy or struggling, single or married, know that no one is free from sorrow. But sadness, if ignored and not handled, can grow and overwhelm, filling the heart, weakening the body, and trapping us in endless tears and worry. Imam Ibn al-Qayyim noted that the Qur’an only speaks of sadness to forbid it, like “Do not grieve,” or to deny it, like “no fear will be on them.” The secret is that sadness stops us from moving forward and brings no good to the heart. Nothing pleases Shaytan more than making a believer sad, so they halt their journey to Allah and stop doing good deeds. With that, here are 15 pieces of advice. May Allah make them a comfort for the troubled, a healing for the brokenhearted, and a strength for the inner struggles we all face. **First:** Always remember that the One who allowed your trial is Allah, and true servitude is to submit to what He chooses for you, accepting it with a content heart. Allah says, “No disaster strikes except by Allah’s permission. And whoever believes in Allah, He will guide his heart.” ‘Alqama explained this refers to someone hit by a hardship but knows it’s from Allah, so he accepts and is pleased. **Second:** Remember, the One who picked this hardship for you is the Most Merciful, caring for you more than your own mother. He is the Most Wise, wanting to benefit you in ways you can’t grasp. The Prophets understood this. Ayyub called out, “Adversity has touched me, and You are the Most Merciful of the merciful.” Ya’qub, when losing his son, said, “Allah is the best guardian, and He is the most merciful of those who show mercy.” Keep in mind who tests you: a Merciful and Wise Creator who wants good for you more than you want it for yourself. **Third:** Realize your difficulty is actually a medicine that Allah kindly sends you. Medicine is bitter by nature-embrace it and avoid showing displeasure or impatience, or the healing won’t work. Imam Ibn al-Qayyim said, “When Allah wants good for someone, He gives them a dose of tests and trials, making them vomit harmful inner diseases, until they are purified and ready for the highest levels in this life-worshiping Allah-and the highest rewards in the Hereafter-seeing Allah and drawing near to Him.” Often, an arrogant sinner is stopped by a disaster that humbles him. He then becomes a person of salah, Qur’an, du’a, and righteousness. Trust that the medicine of trials removes illnesses you may not see, but need to go. **Fourth:** Those who suffer most are the closest to Allah. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked, “Who faces the most tests?” He said, “The Prophets, then those most like them, then those next like them. A person is tested according to their faith. If their faith is strong, the test increases; if weak, it is lightened. A servant keeps being tested until they walk on earth free of sins.” That’s why some of our early scholars said: “Whoever is afflicted with a trial has been placed on the path of prophets.” **Fifth:** Your trial is a sign Allah intends good for you. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “When Allah wants good for someone, He hastens their hardship in this world, but when He wills otherwise, He delays their suffering to give it in full on Judgement Day.” Al-Fudail Ibn ‘Iyad said, “Allah cares for His believing servant through trials, just as a person cares for their family with kindness.” He also said, “You won’t taste true faith until you see trials as a blessing and ease as a calamity.” **Sixth:** Understand that Allah may want a certain level in Paradise for you, but your deeds don’t reach it, so He helps you through tests. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “If Allah decrees a rank in Jannah for a servant that their deeds don’t earn, He tests them in health, wealth, or children, then inspires patience, so they reach that rank.” When you realize your anxiety and hardship are actually your elevator in the Hereafter, it becomes much easier to bear. **Seventh:** Remember, the heaviest burden in life and the next is sin, and your current situation actively erases them. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “No suffering, illness, worry, grief, or even a thorn prick touches a believer except that Allah wipes away some of their sins.” He also said, “When a person falls sick, Allah sends two angels and says, ‘Listen to what they say to visitors.’ If they praise Allah and speak well, Allah says, ‘My servant has a promise: if I take their soul, they get Paradise; if I cure them, I’ll replace their flesh and blood with better, and erase their sins.’” Our predecessors would congratulate each other after recovering, saying, “Congratulations on the purification.” Not only do hardships lighten sins, but they add to good deeds. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “When those who lived in ease see the reward for those who suffered in this world, they’d wish their skin had been cut with scissors.” That’s why some scholars said, “Without trials, we’d meet Allah empty-handed.” Imam Ibn al-Qayyim mentioned a devoted woman who lost a finger but smiled. Asked why, she said, “The sweetness of the reward made me forget the pain’s bitterness.” Imam Ibn Qudamah said, “If a king told a poor man, ‘Every time I hit you with this small stick, I’ll give you 1000 dinars,’ the man would want to be hit often, not because it doesn’t hurt, but for the outcome he hopes for.” **Eighth:** What happens to you is because of your own sins. Allah says, “Whatever calamity strikes you is because of what your hands have earned.” So instead of just grieving, turn to repentance, for that’s a key way to repel trials. ‘Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) said, “Every trial comes from a sin and only leaves through repentance.” **Ninth:** Know that what befell you was bound to happen and couldn’t be avoided. It was written thousands of years before the heavens and earth were created. Allah says, “No disaster strikes on earth or in yourselves but is in a Book before We bring it about-truly, that is easy for Allah.” The first thing Allah created was the pen, and He ordered it to write. When it asked what to write, it was told: “Write everything that will happen until Judgement Day.” So whether we panic or stay calm, complain or submit, Allah’s decree must happen. Don’t add to your trial another loss-the loss of reward for patience. ‘Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “If you’re patient, Allah’s decree will happen and you’re rewarded; if you’re impatient, it still happens but you sin.” **Tenth:** Deal with your worries by helping people however you can. If life feels heavy, find someone in need and feed them, lend money, comfort the sad. Even something small like making space for a brother to sit beside you in a crowded room can open your heart to joy. Allah says, “O you who believe! When you’re told to make room in gatherings, make room; Allah will make room for you.” Make room in people’s lives, and Allah will make room in your heart, wealth, health, and grave. **Eleventh:** Make an effort to be in gatherings of knowledge and remembrance. When we feel down, we tend to isolate from good people and places, which only deepens our hurt. The peace you miss is found in the masjid. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Whenever people gather in one of Allah’s houses, reciting and studying the Qur’an together, tranquility descends, mercy covers them, angels surround them, and Allah mentions them.” When anxiety feels heavy, call a friend and invite them to the masjid to recite Qur’an and read tafsir together, and watch your heart change. **Twelfth:** Make the remembrance of Allah your refuge. Every believer knows how vital this is for fighting anxiety. Allah told His Messenger, “Indeed, We have sent down the Qur’an to you in stages. So be patient for your Lord’s decree, and don’t obey any sinner or disbeliever. And remember your Lord’s name morning and evening. And prostrate to Him and praise Him long through the night.” Ibn Taymiyyah said about these verses: “Allah commanded His Prophet to remember Him morning and evening, for His remembrance is the greatest help in bearing patience. He was also told to pray at night, for night prayer assists with daytime tasks and is a source of strength.” Think of the worry Musa and his brother faced when told to confront Pharaoh, who claimed divinity. How were they told to cope? Allah said, “Go, you and your brother, with My signs, and don’t slacken in My remembrance.” This was their weapon against the worst tyrant. Shaykh As-Sa’di commented: “Remembrance of Allah helps in every matter, making things easy and light.” **Thirteenth:** Perhaps Allah tested you to ward off something much worse headed your way. You can’t know what was being planned. Scholars tell a story of a king and his righteous minister. Whenever trouble came, the minister said, “Allah only chooses what’s best.” Once, while eating, the king badly cut his hand. The minister repeated his words. The king, insulted, imprisoned him-yet the minister still said, “Allah only chooses what’s best.” Later, the king went hunting alone. He strayed into idol-worshippers’ land and was captured to be sacrificed. They noticed his wounded hand and freed him, deeming him unfit. The king returned, realizing Allah only chooses best. He freed the minister and asked, “I see the good in my wound, but when I jailed you, what good was there?” The minister replied, “If I’d been with you hunting, I would’ve been sacrificed instead.” In every trial, let your motto be “Allah only chooses what’s best.” Allah says, “Perhaps you hate something and it’s good for you; perhaps you love something and it’s bad for you. Allah knows, and you don’t.” **Fourteenth:** The problem is only as big as you make it. An Arabic proverb says, “Ease it, and it eases,” meaning shrink the mountain to a molehill. Here’s how: a) Think of what’s worse. A woman who endured long hardship was asked how she stayed patient. She said, “When I face a trial, I remember the Hellfire, and my trouble shrinks until it’s as small as a fly.” b) Thank Allah it wasn’t worse. Lost an eye? Thank Him you didn’t lose both. Broken an arm? Thank Him it’s not your spine. The worshipper Muhammad Ibn Wasi’ had a skin ulcer. A friend was horrified, but he said, “Alhamdulillah it wasn’t on my tongue or eyelid!” A poor, blind, handicapped man was heard saying, “Praise Allah who favored me over many servants.” Asked how, he said, “He gave me a tongue that remembers Him, a heart that praises, and a body patient with trials.” c) Thank Allah the trial wasn’t in your faith. ‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattab said, “In every trial, I see four blessings: it’s not in my deen, I’m able to accept it, it’s not worse, and I hope for reward.” d) Count Allah’s favors on you. It’s sad when we’re blind to countless blessings and only see the one we lost. When ‘Urwa b. Zubair’s foot was amputated, someone said, “Allah has kept most of you-your mind, tongue, eyes, hands, and one foot.” ‘Urwa replied, “No one has comforted me better.” Some complain of limited money, but ask: “Would you sell your sight for a huge sum?” No. “Your hearing? Speech? Mind?” Each time, no. So really, you’re a multimillionaire-how can you complain? e) Remember, like a summer cloud, it will pass. Think of those who were tested with illness or loss. At the time, they thought they’d never recover, but time passed, they healed, and what was heartbreaking became a distant memory. All those smiling around you now-didn’t they cry at some point? They did, but time changed things. Shaykh ‘Ali al-Tantawi said, “Those suffering from illness, poverty, prison, or tyranny-a day will come when this is just a memory and story shared with friends.” f) Just look around. You’ll quickly see everyone is struggling in some way. **Fifteenth:** Don’t expect this world to be what it wasn’t made for. Exams are rarely easy-and what is this life but a test? Any rare easy days are exceptions. Allah says, “We have certainly created man into hardship.” Hardship in pregnancy, birth, education, work, marriage, raising kids, health, old age, and death. Whoever expects a trouble-free life, thinks they’re the only one suffering, or believes they suffer most is mistaken; we’re all being tested. Ibn ‘Uyayna said, “This world is grief, so when you have an easy day, consider it a bonus.” ‘AbdurRahman An-Naasir, a great ruler of Andalusia, noted his days of ease. After over 50 years of rule filled with struggle, he found only 14 such days. So train yourself to accept this dunya as a temporary test, and remember Imam Ahmad’s reply when asked, “When will we rest?” He said, “Right after your first step into Jannah.” I ask Allah to let us take that step, but until then, prepare for whatever life brings. This is dunya, and we’re all in it together. May Allah make these 15 points a comfort during our short journey to Him and the Hereafter. Truly, from Allah’s mercy on our weak selves, He didn’t tie complete happiness to anything but Him-not to spouses, jobs, children, wealth, health, or anything else. Those things, if lost, can be replaced. But if Allah is lost, what can make up for that? Real misery isn’t losing those things; it’s losing the Irreplaceable One. “Whoever does righteousness, male or female, while believing-We will surely grant them a happy life.”