Why Your Duas Might Be Taking Longer - A Reminder

Assalamu alaykum, Sins can delay rizq and answered duas, so if you’re struggling to find a spouse, reflect honestly on recurring sins in your life. How can you keep committing those things and then be upset that Allah delays your dua when you act as if He isn’t watching? When your prayers are rushed or missed, when you’re unkind to family, when you cut off relatives Allah told us to maintain, when you waste time as if it’s endless, or when you look at the filthiest things with no thought of the Most Pure watching and the angels recording - these habits push blessings away. Think: if Allah gave you a spouse who shared all those bad habits, would you even like them? Probably not. We attract what we are, not what we want. If you want certain traits in a spouse, work on becoming that person yourself. How could you expect someone to accept in you what you wouldn’t accept for a second? Taqwa opens doors that sins have shut. Your intention for giving up bad habits must be for the akhirah, so you don’t remain chained to them in humiliation. If the thought of giving them up overwhelms you, ask: would I marry the male/female version of myself with these habits and level of religiosity? Change begins there. Remember the promise of the Prophet ﷺ: whoever leaves something for the sake of Allah, Allah will replace it with something better. Another reason for delay might be unhealthy attachment to the idea of marriage. Fill your time with purposeful acts: serve Allah, help others, be grateful for the abilities Allah gave you. If all you think about is marriage, you have too much idle time. Make the akhirah your priority; your deeds deserve your care because they matter far more than waiting. Seek Allah, make Him your focus, love Him most, and He will guide you to a spouse when He wills. Fear Him and avoid unnecessary interactions with the opposite gender - Allah will not force you into haram to reach what He decreed for you. For the brothers who want a sister who observes hijab and fears Allah: she wants someone who will lower his gaze and protect her dignity. Pure women are for pure men. Sisters who want a righteous husband should likewise try to cover properly, observe the Islamic dress code, and lower the gaze. Prophet ﷺ said that the heart is the core of the person - if it’s sound the whole person is sound. Purify your heart by reflecting on the Qur’an and seeking tazkiyah; practical reminders help. Allah will not change a people until they change what is within themselves. Don’t underestimate the reward of striving to cleanse your heart; the sacrifice will pale next to Allah’s generosity. Busy yourself with istighfar - make it a habit and aim high. Give up sins, pray on time, lower your gaze, be good to parents, keep family ties, fulfill promises, guard your tongue, avoid haram income (especially interest), and remove harmful influences like music if it leads you away from remembrance, replacing it with Qur’an where possible. I can’t stress tahajjud enough. In the last third of the night Allah descends and asks who is seeking and who is asking forgiveness. How can you ask for marriage yet sleep through that opportunity? The Prophet ﷺ urged holding fast to night prayer - it draws you near to your Lord, wipes sins, helps prevent sin, and brings spiritual benefit. If you’re financially constrained, ill, not getting proposals, or facing family problems, then tahajjud, taqwa, tawakkul and istighfar are key. Ask yourself which of these four you’re neglecting. Istighfar must be sincere and constant; saying Astaghfirullah once isn’t enough if you keep returning to major sins. Repent sincerely and move away from the triggers. Don’t forget salawat on the Prophet ﷺ - its reward is immense. Try to increase it daily (while keeping istighfar a priority), especially on Fridays. Tawakkul ties everything together: trust Allah fully even when things seem impossible. If you struggle with trust, reflect on Allah’s names and attributes daily. Allah said, “I am as My servant thinks of Me.” If your situation feels bleak, examine where you’ve slipped: sins, inconsistent istighfar, or lack of action? Take responsibility in a proactive way. Remember the dua of Yunus (Lā ilāha illā anta subḥānaka innī kuntu minaẓ-ẓālimīn) - it’s a powerful supplication that Allah answered when he truly turned to Him. Be patient. The Prophet ﷺ said patience is an immense blessing. Allah may answer your dua quickly, store it for the Hereafter, or avert a similar harm from you - in any case, He gives what is best. Do your part: seek halal work for financial stability, purify your heart, repent immediately after sinning and resolve not to return to it, understand your triggers, avoid bad company, and monitor what you listen to and watch. If you’d hate your future spouse doing something, don’t do it yourself. Make istighfar regular, keep up tahajjud, raise your salawat, guard your heart, and trust Allah. He responds to the sincere. Wa alaykum assalam.