Why Am I Treated Differently for Being Me? Salam
Salam - TL;DR: I became friends with a coworker (A), but her friends were cold and excluded me, especially after I started wearing hijab. It left me feeling unwelcome. I never told A how hurt I was, and while we hung out one-on-one okay, our plans faded. On NYE A posted stories that clearly shaded me, then ignored my message trying to reach out. Late 2024 I started a job and met a lovely sister (A) at orientation and we became friends. I’m a muslimah and she’s Christian, and she invited me to her yearly friends-only Christmas dinner. I went and noticed some of her friends treated me differently. They asked about my journey to Islam (I’m a revert), which I answered briefly and then moved on. I later went to A’s birthday dinner, this time wearing hijab fully. When her friend (B) arrived, she was immediately cold to me, and I felt unwelcome right away. In the Uber and at the table, B and another friend (C) ignored and brushed me off. When A stepped away, B and C only spoke to each other and didn’t acknowledge me at all. I realized they probably just didn’t like me. Back at A’s apartment after dinner, B kept excluding me and made passive-aggressive corrections. A tried for a moment to include me, but it didn’t last. I left confused and deflated. After that, A and I hung out one-on-one a few times and it was fine, but scheduling was hard. She invited me to another dinner and I said no because I didn’t want to feel that pain again. I never told her how her friends made me feel. Plans to hang out kept falling through. On New Year’s she posted about leaving behind people who don’t like your friends and about people you have to “break your back” to see. I felt it was about me. I messaged her to catch up, she didn’t read or reply, and removed me from location sharing. After that I removed her and mutuals from social media. ANYWAYS, this is just one of many times I’ve felt treated differently for being Muslim, wearing hijab, and just being myself. Is this normal? Am I overreacting to feel hurt? I did try, and I still can’t help feeling a little wounded. JazakAllah khair if you read all this :)