What should I do next?

Assalamu alaykum, I’m not okay. I’ve been mentally worn out for a long time and lately my thoughts have turned dark. I don’t feel like I have much to live for (I do my daily acts of worship - prayer, fasting, and such). I don’t have negative thoughts about Allah; my feelings toward Him are more fear than love right now. I feel very alone. I have no real support system. It seems like I upset people wherever I go - whether it’s by falling short in obeying Allah or my parents getting annoyed with me. I never try to hurt or bother anyone, but I’m treated like a burden. Once I used to be someone my family was proud of. I used to be top of the class, though that was driven by pressure more than passion. Now I’m not at the top anymore and I don’t feel good about myself. I feel like a walking failure. Am I a good servant of Allah - I can’t answer that for sure. Am I good at sports - not really. Am I a good person - others say yes, but I doubt it because I haven’t obeyed Allah as I should. Am I attractive - by common standards no; I’ve struggled with weight since childhood so that’s part of it. By both Akhirah and Dunya measures I feel behind. I feel rotten; everyone else seems to have something - stronger iman, a livelihood, a community. I believe Allah’s mercy is vast and that relief will come, but what if this hardship is the test that raises my rank, and what if I die without having fixed things? It all feels pointless. I just want a hug and a safe place. I’m not asking for solutions or pep talks. I just want to feel less alone and hear from Muslims who have been in a similar place and made it through the day.