Navigating Parental Expectations While Staying True to Myself

Assalamu'alaikum everyone. I'm a sister and I just hit 18 recently, and it's really hit me how much my parents-especially my mom-are directing every part of my life. It's gotten to where I feel like I don't even have my own life or personality. I hold back because I don’t want to be disobedient and fall into ‘uqooq, and I fear Allah’s displeasure, but honestly, it hurts. I feel like I’m just living out my mom’s vision of a ‘perfect wife’-someone who doesn’t drive before marriage, doesn’t work, doesn’t go out freely, and so much more. If I don’t meet these expectations, it feels like I get duas against me just for having a different opinion, like I’m being told I’m willfully opposing her. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom, but I’m exhausted from having no agency. Every conversation turns into an argument where she insists she knows best and I’ll regret not listening. I dream of having my own decisions-my own career, my own schedule, my own personality and aspirations. But in this situation, I can’t. I’m so scared that if I start making choices without asking, Allah will be upset with me, and that my hopes for independence are just foolish. It’s been a years-long struggle and it really weighs on me. Having no one to turn to is hard, but I hope I’m reaching kind hearts. Thanks for hearing me out 🤍