Update on Mother’s Stage 4 Cancer - Alhamdulillah for Every Day
As-salamu alaykum everyone, This is a long one, thank you for reading. I wanted to share an update about my mum’s health and the family situation. Alhamdulillah she’s still here - some good days, some bad days. I remember the oncologist saying she might not see Christmas, and Alhamdulillah she did. Alhamdulillah Allah (SWT) has given me the chance to care for her, and I try my best. I buy her groceries, pick up prescriptions and medications, and make sure she takes them on time. It’s a privilege, even when it’s hard. 🌹 The last 3–4 months have been a nightmare with family drama - constant fights, siding with one person then another because of circumstances, and just mess after mess. It’s difficult to explain how stressful it’s been. Recently my father asked my older brother to leave the house. There were many reasons: he wasn’t contributing, he was using drugs, and he was basically living here for free while making as much money as possible without helping or showing care. A few weeks earlier he had promised to buy my mum’s car and give my sister and me $1,000 each. When I asked for the money he said “whenever I make it,” but he had access to funds from a divorce payout. I challenged him and we argued. Two weeks later he gave my sister $6,000 for another family issue, so clearly there’s tension between him and me. When he left, my mum was devastated - she shed a tear while he was packing. She tried to call him but he blocked our numbers. A friend told him my mum was upset, but he’s been ignoring her. Before that my dad also had a big fight with my brother-in-law and asked him to leave. My sister has now blocked me on social media, told her son to delete me on PlayStation, and when I asked she made excuses with a sweet tone that didn’t add up. She claims she told her son to delete everyone because he messages too much, and that she didn’t buy the PlayStation for him to chat. But he only had me and my nephew as friends, and he deleted me while keeping my nephew, so it feels deliberate. The bigger worry is my mum has property overseas and she gave my sister authority to manage it a few months ago. We didn’t give it to my father because he gambles and, at the time, he and my mum were not on good terms; he even didn’t visit her in hospital because of personal reasons. Now my older siblings seem distant and uninterested in mum unless it benefits them. May Allah deal with them in this world and guide them, insha’Allah. I’m worried they might try to take my haqq. I try to leave things to Allah - whatever is meant for me will come to me - but I still worry until this is all resolved. Deep down, despite my mum having late stage 4 metastatic triple negative cancer, I feel she may live longer. I have a small hope that my sister won’t take my haqq. Even if the chance is tiny, I believe in Allah’s plan and that in the end things will work out, insha’Allah. I try to stay strong, but doubts creep in. My brother and sister seem resentful that I live with our parents and have a simpler life, and I fear they might try to take everything or give me only a little. If they do take what’s mine, what consequences might they face in this dunya? I know we’re taught that making dua against others is discouraged, but if I’m in the right, I feel justified making dua until I either get my rights here or on the Day of Judgement. I also know forgiveness is important in our deen, but this isn’t just hurt feelings - it’s betrayal and potential theft of my haq. Please advise me: how should I proceed practically and spiritually? What are effective, permissible duas I can make when wronged? I know we could contact the consulate and try to regain authority over the property, but my sister could dispute it and claim mum’s welfare is at risk. Mum’s condition is fragile and may not allow travel or legal battles, so it’s complicated. May Allah (SWT) grant justice. Please keep my mother and me in your du’as. Nothing is impossible for Allah (SWT). Maybe the cancer won’t go - Allah knows best - but we’ve all heard stories of people living years with cancer, and that hope keeps me going. "But they plan, and Allah plans; and Allah is the best of planners." (Quran 8:30) Jazakallah khair. Please remember us in your prayers.