Thoughts on Meeting a Spouse Online - A Muslim Perspective

Assalamu alaikum brothers and sisters, I wanted to share a few observations as someone new here. I don’t really use social media much - just YouTube and LinkedIn - and a friend suggested I try this place. I’m in my late 20s and my family and I have been actively looking for a suitable spouse. We’ve tried almost everything except marriage apps or social media, and it’s become clear how hard it is to find compatibility these days. We’re trying our best to use halal means. Today I posted something and got a negative reply from a sister. I’m not sure what was wrong with my post aside from me forgetting to turn off my chat. I also saw a lot of people saying they would “never” marry someone they met online. Personally, I don’t see a problem with it if everything is handled in a halal way and you take time to get to know the person properly. For example, I involved my wali from the start, and if someone seems compatible I’ll have my wali contact him directly using my account. Islam doesn’t forbid meeting a potential spouse by a particular method as long as we follow Shariah guidelines. Many negative views come from culture, not Islam. Even couples who met in the most “proper” traditional way can still end up divorced - the meeting method doesn’t guarantee success. A marriage’s outcome depends on both partners, and if Allah (SWT) has decreed something, it will happen regardless of the path. Is it right to avoid means that Allah has made available while claiming reliance on Him? True tawakkul includes taking sensible steps - tie your camel and then trust Allah. Maybe this is how Allah (SWT) has written my naseeb. It’s sad that culture and religion get mixed so often, and that our ummah sometimes judges rather than supports. We should encourage and help one another, not mock or belittle someone because their way looks different. May Allah guide us, purify our intentions, and unite our hearts upon what is good and halal. Ameen.