Thinking About Embracing Islam but Finding Some Things Challenging?

As-salamu alaykum everyone! Lately, I've been reading the Qur’an and really appreciate the 5 Pillars of Islam and many of its teachings and lifestyle aspects. I love how it focuses on discipline, gratitude, and connects everyday life with spirituality. I grew up more agnostic, but recently I started praying in my own way-not perfect yet, but just beginning. I feel like I have so much to learn and I’m trying to find my own pace and how it feels in my heart. The only thing is, I’m hesitant to say the shahada because I worry about 'failing' or feeling like I failed. While reading and watching talks, there are some things I don’t fully agree with, like the idea that people of other faiths are destined for hell or that some never get a chance. Also, the views on homosexuality are hard for me because some of my closest friends are gay, and I don’t see their love as wrong. I also don’t feel drawn to cover my hair or feel obligated in that way. I understand the protection and modesty it offers, but it sometimes feels patriarchal to me. Usually, I dress modestly but sometimes not fully. Sometimes when I read certain surahs, I think, hmm, this doesn’t quite fit with me. I’m also working through the idea of fear in faith because thinking that if I don’t do something I’ve sinned or won’t enter Jannah feels strange to me. I wonder about things like why eternal punishment exists if Allah is all-knowing and most merciful, or how verses about women and social roles fit in today’s world. I’m not saying this to question the religion disrespectfully-I see both sides and truly want to understand. There’s a mix of calm and inner conflict in me about it. A friend reminded me that it’s between me and Allah, and that even those born Muslim struggle at times. It’s not always easy or perfect-that’s just life. I hope I’m not coming across as criticizing Islam; I’m genuinely drawn to it and want to learn how people practice it in a balanced and compassionate way. I’m just trying to find a faith that feels like home but still lets me be myself. I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been in a similar place. How did you deal with these feelings? Do you sit with the contradictions and still find peace? Or how did you build your trust in Allah without shutting down parts of who you are? Do you reinterpret things or make space for nuance in your faith? Jazakum Allahu khair for listening.