The Husband Too Modest To Raise His Gaze at His Wife - A Reminder of Patience (As-Salaam-u-Alaikum)

As-Salaam-u-Alaikum. This was shared by Prof. Khalid Al-Jubeir, a cardiac surgeon, during a lecture: Once I operated on a two-and-a-half-year-old boy. On Tuesday the surgery went well, and by Wednesday he seemed fine. Then on Thursday at 11:15 am - a time I’ll never forget - a nurse told me his heart and breathing had stopped. I ran in and did cardiac massage for 45 minutes; his heart wouldn’t respond. Then by the will of ALLAH his heart started again, and we praised Him. I had to tell the family how serious things were. I couldn’t find the father, so I spoke with the mother. I explained that the arrest was from bleeding in his throat, we didn’t know why, and we feared severe brain damage. How did she react? She didn’t scream or blame anyone. Instead she said, “Alhamdulillah,” and left. Ten days later the child began to move a little, praise be to ALLAH. After 12 days the heart stopped again from the same bleeding. We performed 45 minutes of massage but this time it didn’t respond. I told the mother there was little hope. Her reply was calm: “Alhamdulillah. O ALLAH, if there is good in his recovery then heal him.” By ALLAH’s mercy his heart started again. He had six such arrests before a trachea specialist controlled the bleeding and the heart stabilized. Three and a half months later he was out of intensive care but still not moving. Just as he began to improve, a huge pus abscess formed in his head - something I had not seen before. I told his mother it was very serious; again she said, “Alhamdulillah,” and left. Neurosurgery took over and three weeks later the abscess resolved, though he still didn’t move. Two weeks after that he developed severe sepsis and a temperature of 41.2°C (106°F). I told the mother the grave news and she replied steadily, “Alhamdulillah. O ALLAH, if there is good in his recovery then cure him.” At that time I visited a neighboring bed where a different child’s mother was hysterical over a fever of 37.6°C (99.7°F), crying that he would die. I pointed to the calm mother whose child had over 41°C and was facing so much more. The frantic mother said the calm woman must be unconscious or without feeling. I remembered the Prophet’s hadith about patience and was deeply moved. In my 23 years in hospitals I had not seen such steadfastness. Six and a half months later the boy left the recovery unit: not speaking, not seeing or hearing, barely moving, with an open chest revealing his beating heart. His mother changed dressings and stayed patient and hopeful. What happened two and a half months later amazed us all: by the mercy of ALLAH the child fully recovered, running around like nothing had happened. But the part that made me weep came later. A year and a half after discharge someone told me a family wanted to see me. I met them and recognized the couple - the same parents. The boy was now five and healthy, and with them was a four-month-old baby. I joked about how many children they had; the father smiled and told me something that broke my heart: that the recovered boy was their first child, bestowed upon them after 17 years of infertility. Hearing that, I pulled the father aside and asked about the mother: who is this woman whose heart could not be barren and who showed such patience? He answered: he had been married to her for 19 years and she never missed tahajjud except for a valid excuse, never backbit, never lied, welcomed him kindly, prayed for him when he left and when he returned, and treated him with utmost love and care. He added that because of her noble manners he was shy to even raise his eyes to her. And truly, someone like her deserves such respect and honor. ALLAH says (paraphrase): We will surely test you with fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits; give glad tidings to the patient. When calamity strikes they say, “Indeed we belong to ALLAH and to Him we return.” Those will receive blessings and mercy and are rightly guided. (Surah Al-Baqarah 155–157) Umm Salamah (may ALLAH be pleased with her) reported the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) saying: Whoever is afflicted and says what ALLAH has commanded - “Indeed we belong to ALLAH and indeed to Him we return; O ALLAH, reward me for my affliction and grant me something better in return” - ALLAH will give them something better in exchange. She said when she said this after the death of Abu Salamah, ALLAH gave her the Messenger (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) in return. (Sahih Muslim) May ALLAH grant us patience and reward those who bear trials with faith. Ameen.