Struggling with unanswered duas and feeling distant from Allah

Assalamu alaikum. I’m a pretty average Muslim when it comes to practice - I care about my iman and try to stay connected to Allah. I really do my best to be the kind of Muslim I should be. But for the last five years life has been one hardship after another. I’ve been making dua a lot, asking Allah for guidance, ease, and for things to turn out for the best. It feels like none of my duas are answered the way I hope. Instead, each time I ask for something, it’s either not given, or replaced with something I didn’t want - sometimes even things I specifically prayed to avoid. To give a silly example: I pray for a rose if it’s good for me. I don’t get the rose, but I get a violet instead, and I think maybe that’s better. Then the violet is taken away and I end up with leaves - and I’m allergic to leaves and hate them. All the while I’m praying, “Ya Allah, grant me the rose if it’s good, or something better - anything but leaves.” Yet I still end up with the leaves. I don’t know how to make sense of this. It’s reached a point where hearing Allah’s name or seeing an Islamic post triggers a painful, almost traumatic reaction and I just want to turn away. That scares me because I don’t want to abandon my faith, but I also feel desperate to not be stuck with those “leaves.” Has anyone else felt this way? How do you keep trusting Allah when it feels like your duas go nowhere and the replacements are worse? Any practical advice for holding on to hope and staying close to Allah during long, testing periods would really help me. JazakAllahu khair.