Struggling with Some Doubts as a Muslim Woman

Assalamu Alaikum, I grew up in a very Western environment and was raised with a more modern take on Islam. None of the women in my family wear hijab, and they actually discourage me from doing so, even seeing it as something extreme. During my school years, I was very involved in politics and debate. Now that I’m older and learning more about Islam, I’m trying to truly embrace it. I’m discovering so much about women's rights in Islam, and I know women have many rights, especially in marriage. But maybe because of my Western upbringing, some things still feel uncomfortable to me. For example, the idea that women shouldn’t give public speeches – often this is justified by saying men should lower their gaze to avoid fitna, so women speaking publicly would cause temptation. But then the Quran also tells women to lower their gaze. If both men and women are told this, why is it okay for men to have jobs where they interact freely with women, or speak publicly to them, when men are supposedly more likely to be tempted? Being Afghan myself, I’ve seen what’s happening to women in Afghanistan – they can’t study beyond 6th grade, can’t leave home except for necessities, can’t even go to the gym. It just doesn’t seem fair. I understand the differences between men and women in Islam, like why a man can marry more than one woman but not vice versa, or why a man can marry a Christian or Jew but a woman cannot. But sometimes I feel oppressed, like when people say my voice as a woman is awrah. I love Islam deeply, but this feeling in my heart makes me question if some things are truly right, even though I see so much truth in the Quran.